Insignificant/ Significant things that BYP or just wind you up a little

[Skub]

Nope, no prosecution, no charges and thankfully no arrest.
A child had a strop and threw a jar of food on the floor, the police labelled this criminal damage and I'm the victim as it was my jar.

[Yambo]

Nope, no prosecution, no charges and thankfully no arrest.
A child had a strop and threw a jar of food on the floor, the police labelled this criminal damage and I'm the victim as it was my jar.

If you were in a shop I'd say it wasn't your jar unless you were the shop owner . . .

[Noggin]

I got a text today offering me mental health support as a victim of crime.
I'm not a victim and I didn't ask to be registered as a victim. I'm just a convenient stat for the police to say 'look how good we are compared to last year', they don't give a toss about what a victim wants if it isn't the same as they want.

Target led policing, corrupting a force near you soon.

I'm assuming this only happens at the end of a successful prosecution?

Nope, no prosecution, no charges and thankfully no arrest.
A child had a strop and threw a jar of food on the floor, the police labelled this criminal damage and I'm the victim as it was my jar.

Please write more!! I mean, a child having a strop and becoming criminal damage? I guess it wasn't a very small child??

[Greenman]

I got a text today offering me mental health support as a victim of crime.
I'm not a victim and I didn't ask to be registered as a victim. I'm just a convenient stat for the police to say 'look how good we are compared to last year', they don't give a toss about what a victim wants if it isn't the same as they want.

Target led policing, corrupting a force near you soon.

I'm assuming this only happens at the end of a successful prosecution?

Nope, no prosecution, no charges and thankfully no arrest.
A child had a strop and threw a jar of food on the floor, the police labelled this criminal damage and I'm the victim as it was my jar.

That's it, i'm arming myself with a jar of red onion chutney tomorrow and am going to ask a year 6 pupil to throw it on the floor, could do with £1800...

[McNab]

I got a text today offering me mental health support as a victim of crime.
I'm not a victim and I didn't ask to be registered as a victim. I'm just a convenient stat for the police to say 'look how good we are compared to last year', they don't give a toss about what a victim wants if it isn't the same as they want.

Target led policing, corrupting a force near you soon.

I'm assuming this only happens at the end of a successful prosecution?

Nope, no prosecution, no charges and thankfully no arrest.
A child had a strop and threw a jar of food on the floor, the police labelled this criminal damage and I'm the victim as it was my jar.

I do think you were a bit over the top call the cops on your daughter like that.

[Mussels]

I won't go into too much detail as it's not all about me, I didn't call them and that's all there was to it. They wanted to log a crime and did so, the PC had to call his inspector to ask permission not to make an arrest as the force has a compulsory arrest policy. They really are pathetic.
One day this will be really funny for me as well but for now I have to live near these twats.

[Horse]

the force has a compulsory arrest policy. They really are pathetic.

Yet they get criticised for being soft. Can't win.

[Wossname]

the force has a compulsory arrest policy. They really are pathetic.

Yet they get criticised for being soft. Can't win.

They could win if they used their brains.

[Greenman]

I won't go into too much detail as it's not all about me, I didn't call them and that's all there was to it. They wanted to log a crime and did so, the PC had to call his inspector to ask permission not to make an arrest as the force has a compulsory arrest policy. They really are pathetic.
One day this will be really funny for me as well but for now I have to live near these twats.

Do you live close to a police station then?

[Mussels]

I won't go into too much detail as it's not all about me, I didn't call them and that's all there was to it. They wanted to log a crime and did so, the PC had to call his inspector to ask permission not to make an arrest as the force has a compulsory arrest policy. They really are pathetic.
One day this will be really funny for me as well but for now I have to live near these twats.

Do you live close to a police station then?

The district, not all forces have the same policy. They are like bed bugs, you know they are always nearby and just hope you can avoid them.

[Mussels]

the force has a compulsory arrest policy. They really are pathetic.

Yet they get criticised for being soft. Can't win.

Forcing police officers to ask permission to act lawfully will encourage them to act unlawfully, this is just to drive up crime numbers and not the slightest bit of help to the public.

[MrLongbeard]

60 bloody quid for a fridge salad drawer sod that for a game of soldiers

[Yorick]

60 bloody quid for a fridge salad drawer sod that for a game of soldiers

Salad should go straight in the bin.

[Bigjawa]

Amazon have a YouTube ad featuring small barking dogs.

Watching on the big telly and the ad comes on.

Cue 20 odd stone of Rottweilers going from fast asleep to all out war in 0.5 seconds.

Thanks Amazon.

[Mussels]

60 bloody quid for a fridge salad drawer sod that for a game of soldiers

Smeg?

[Count Steer]

60 bloody quid for a fridge salad drawer sod that for a game of soldiers

Smeg?

I expect he did say something like that.

[MrLongbeard]

Smeg?

Whirlpool

I expect he did say something like that.

Surprisingly no, I think I uttered a brief 'bugger' when it dropped

[Pirahna]

Just had an email from Brittany Ferries, because of adverse weather conditions my sailing from Santander is leaving early tomorrow. That'll be 24 hours in the cabin trying to avoid being sea sick.

[David]

Just had an email from Brittany Ferries, because of adverse weather conditions my sailing from Santander is leaving early tomorrow. That'll be 24 hours in the cabin trying to avoid being sea sick.

Seasick? Wots that then.....?



In faireness I am one of the lucky ones...the only time I have felt weird like that was after 36 hours on a tunnel tug, and it was just a matter of the towpath goimg up and down...5 days on the north sea in a small boat, no probs.

[Skub]

Surprisingly no, I think I uttered a brief 'bugger' when it dropped

Good job it didn't fall on your cat.