revtothelimit - motorbike forum

^^ This ^^

I've lived in Sheffield for 22 years and worked there for 20 of them, and I don't have any friends here. All my friends are back in Stafford. Once you get past a certain age it becomes quite difficult to make new friends.

mangocrazy wrote: Tue Nov 08, 2022 1:24 pm Once you get past a certain age it becomes quite difficult to make new friends.

I'm not sure i actually agree, it's easy to make new friends... Assuming both of the people involved want to. However we reach a time and age and life where most of us don't actually want to make new friends, which then as a by-product makes it hard..

Mrs Weeksy is someone who loves to make friends and build relationships and she does it really well. Sadly, not always do the other people involved go out of their way to do so.

OK, perhaps I should have added 'for a miserable old curmudgeon like me'...

I'm not that bad, really, but I don't go out to the extent that I used to, so that limits opportunities for making new friends.

My parents collect friends left right and centre. They're the sort of people who make friends on holiday, go out to dinner with the people while they're away etc. They've got loads of extra friends they now go away with who they met on other holidays. They always say to me "remember Joe & Alice..." and my response is "no, I've not got a scooby who you're talking about" They can't stand to be by themselves.

I on the other hand really don't mind being on my own, in fact it's probably my default state/preference. I'd rather be alone than with someone I merely find tolerable or even a bit likable. I like being with the people I like, but honestly it's really bloody uncommon to find someone I like

I don't think you can really draw many conclusions about someone from how often they spend time with other people unless you know a lot about the sort of person they are.

mangocrazy wrote: Tue Nov 08, 2022 1:24 pm ^^ This ^^

I've lived in Sheffield for 22 years and worked there for 20 of them, and I don't have any friends here. All my friends are back in Stafford. Once you get past a certain age it becomes quite difficult to make new friends.

I lived in Sheffield for less than a year and made loads of friends, you just have to chat to people, and motorbikes are a perfect introduction to a stranger, just go to Matlock Bath on a Sunday on your LC and you'll be wishing people would stop talking to you.

I'll talk to anyone with a motorbike, don't care what it is, if it looks interesting I'm chatting to them about it, ended up having a chat with Niall Mackenzie about LCs for about 20 minutes at the NEC, chatted to Freddie Spencer about AMA Superbikes and 1980s GPs at Donington for around 30 minutes, go to Classic Bike meets, everyone wants to talk about their bikes, if you want social interaction go to bike shows, anything, you never know you might enjoy it.

Mr. Dazzle wrote: Tue Nov 08, 2022 3:47 pm I on the other hand really don't mind being on my own, in fact it's probably my default state/preference. I'd rather be alone than with someone I merely find tolerable or even a bit likable. I like being with the people I like, but honestly it's really bloody uncommon to find someone I like

I don't think you can really draw many conclusions about someone from how often they spend time with other people unless you know a lot about the sort of person they are.

That's far more the type of person I am. I'm very happy in my own skin and have mates I've known for 20, 30, even 50 years. You're never going to replace that depth of friendship with random blokes who've fixated on your LC.

When I first moved to Sheffield I couldn't believe how friendly people were. I'd be in a club and people would come up, have a chat and offer you a ciggy. That never used to happen in Stafford - it was almost like you'd need to be introduced or people thought you were a bit pushy. Then I met the soon-to-be Mrs Mango and we carried on going out and had a small circle of friends, but people moved away, we stayed in more and that's how things continued.

If I really wanted some new casual Sheffield friends I'm sure I could make some. I'm a fairly gregarious chap but to be honest I CBA.

I'm not good at realising I have friends. I was brought up being told I was 'too . . . ' (loud, silly, just too much really) and that the result was that I'd never make/have friends. Add in some serious shyness going on (I pretend well when I have to but I am painfully shy) and I have always assumed people are 'just being nice'. I never pick up on being chatted up because, again due to stuff from growing up with someone not kind, I just assume that guys are 'just being nice' and aren't actually interested (why would they be, after everything I was told growing up, no one would be!!).

When I first came out here for a season I was shocked when two different friends said something like "I'll miss you so much, don't know what I'll do without my mate to chat with" I had NO IDEA they thought of me like that. The only reason I didn't admit that I thought that way was because of the lack of confidence in myself, not believing that anyone would want to be that sort of friend with me


When I found bikes, I realised that I was meeting people that I could relax and be 'me' with. And then started to actually feel that I was making friends

I've tried to feel that way here, but until the last year, just hadn't met people that I felt I had any connection with. I'm lucky that in the last year I have met quite a few people (in the valley) that have become friends. It's a nice feeling


And yes. lack of someone to talk to definitely makes life difficult for some of us. It's why I love this place. I can come and 'chat' with some online friends (some are friends in real life too ) and feel like I'm not on my own

I've made some very good friends over here as we are all over here for the same reasons. By chance, most of the best pals have bikes. But certainly no "bikers"

Anyway, I put on a thread in the bike forum about buying a GasGas 300 enduro bike. Was 3 grand below the price of a Husky 300 and too good to turn down. So I jumped in and ordered one. My pal with KTM had already told me he wanted a new KTM but liked the deal I had got.
He couldn't afford it until he'd sold his current KTM. The shop only had 2 bikes at this price

I thought about it and decided that I'd lend him the dosh. We rub along really well and I hadn't realised how close we were. A lot of money but I felt I can trust him.
Anyway he turns up today and smacks 8 grand on the table and says get me the last one He borrowed it from his dad.

It was so nice that he could give me so much money without worrying. Suddenly massive trust on both sides. A hidden gem.

We ride together every week enduro and gonna be fun with matching bikes. He stopped short of matching gear

Yorick wrote: Wed Nov 09, 2022 10:57 pm
Anyway he turns up today and smacks the bummin' hat on the table.

Sorry. Childish, I know, but couldn't resist.

Aside from day to day issues of stress. I have been having traces of blood in my poo. Not every day. Called the doctor, he said get in here, do bloods and deliver a poo sample.

I’m not in a good place, but thinking good things at the moment

Wscad wrote: Fri Nov 11, 2022 8:17 pm Aside from day to day issues of stress. I have been having traces of blood in my poo. Not every day. Called the doctor, he said get in here, do bloods and deliver a poo sample.

I’m not in a good place, but thinking good things at the moment

Don’t stress over something you don’t know. It can be a multitude of things that aren’t particularly serious

Scud wrote: Fri Nov 11, 2022 8:27 pm

Wscad wrote: Fri Nov 11, 2022 8:17 pm Aside from day to day issues of stress. I have been having traces of blood in my poo. Not every day. Called the doctor, he said get in here, do bloods and deliver a poo sample.

I’m not in a good place, but thinking good things at the moment

Don’t stress over something you don’t know. It can be a multitude of things that aren’t particularly serious

Has telling someone not to stress, ever worked ?

Wscad wrote: Fri Nov 11, 2022 8:17 pm Aside from day to day issues of stress. I have been having traces of blood in my poo. Not every day. Called the doctor, he said get in here, do bloods and deliver a poo sample.

I’m not in a good place, but thinking good things at the moment

Definitely worth getting it checked out. Probably nothing but you can never be too sure.

I meant to post previously....

To those with depression, it may be worth seeing your GP and considering what they suggest.

I had fairly bad depression in 2017 and antidepressant tablets really helped me get over it. There's a perception they (antidepressants) are a bad thing and you shouldn't take them. But that may not be correct for everyone. They can be a really useful option, don't rule then out. Your GP's advice may be better than laymen and the internet.

I've just realised I've been on blood pressure tablets for 6 weeks and had no bad anxiety episodes for a while. No black holes to climb out of.
In fact I've done lots of good stuff while the missus has been away. I've even surprised myself by getting tenants in the apartment.

And sorted out buying 2 bikes in last few days from Gran Canaria. Lots of paperwork and Spanish translation to sort. Been tough, but kept taking a break and resting

Maybe it's on the wain ?

Is it wrong, yes I know it is, to be looking up the lethal dose of every medication I have in the house..
Is it wronger (bite me) to know that I have enough of everything to get the job done but not have the bollocks to go through with it

MrLongbeard wrote: Fri Nov 11, 2022 9:22 pm Is it wrong, yes I know it is, to be looking up the lethal dose of every medication I have in the house..
Is it wronger (bite me) to know that I have enough of everything to get the job done but not have the bollocks to go through with it

Call me. I don't promise to have all the answers, or any of them. But I will listen.

There's also the Samaritans 116 123. Or NHS 111, option 2 (better IMO).

I've been there, or somewhere similar. I know my situation probably wasn't the same as yours. But I will listen.

I do know you are a good man, you have a daughter and the world would be a lesser place without you.

Call me. If you want. I will listen. 07725 254 260

Asian Boss wrote: Fri Nov 11, 2022 9:16 pm it may be worth seeing your GP and considering what they suggest

Whilst I agree with that, my own personal experience with GP's has been pretty poor. I've been many times. Been given many shoves out the door with a prescription. On one occasion just after I'd slipped a disc in my back (this was not that long ago, 2017) and was just trying to recover from that, I told the GP I was really struggling, to the point of being suicidal. His words were, 'let's deal with the back pain for now and see how you get on'.

That was the last time I went to a GP about my anxiety and depression.

Hope you'll be okay @Wscad

MrLongbeard wrote: Fri Nov 11, 2022 9:22 pm Is it wrong, yes I know it is, to be looking up the lethal dose of every medication I have in the house..
Is it wronger (bite me) to know that I have enough of everything to get the job done but not have the bollocks to go through with it

Talk to someone mate, anyone. As above, drop me a PM if you want.