revtothelimit - motorbike forum

That black dog is a bastard animal and very difficult to train. Sounds like you have at least taught it to sit and who knows, maybe how to behave itself a bit.

It's great to hear about your recent experience. Catharsis is a wonderful thing.

Keep this authentic happiness.

Sounds like it's long overdue.

Buckaroo wrote: Sat Jan 28, 2023 6:45 pm That black dog is a bastard animal and very difficult to train. Sounds like you have at least taught it to sit and who knows, maybe how to behave itself a bit.

It's great to hear about your recent experience. Catharsis is a wonderful thing.

Keep this authentic happiness.

Sounds like it's long overdue.

Thank you. I had thought I had him fairly well trained, but a series of baseball bats wielded by the universe since 2011 (but the big stuff since 2017!!) seemed to make him lose his training!! Think we are slowly coming back to a mutual agreement, very slowly - hopefully x

Noggin wrote: Sat Jan 28, 2023 4:42 pmYou look happy

I've been told that a few times. But I've mastered the art of deceiving. I've become really good at coming across that I'm perfectly fine when I'm not. Went to Edinburgh a couple of weekends ago to see friends and the whole weekend I was pretending to be just fine. So, if you look and genuinely are fine (mostly) on the inside, then that's a big win for you.

tricol wrote: Mon Jan 30, 2023 9:13 am

Noggin wrote: Sat Jan 28, 2023 4:42 pmYou look happy

I've been told that a few times. But I've mastered the art of deceiving. I've become really good at coming across that I'm perfectly fine when I'm not. Went to Edinburgh a couple of weekends ago to see friends and the whole weekend I was pretending to be just fine. So, if you look and genuinely are fine (mostly) on the inside, then that's a big win for you.

It's an 'art' that some of us learn and manage to show very well to others. It's rare that someone notices the difference when you really are genuinely happy! I've not been genuinely happy in years, but I'm getting there, so it was kinda cool that someone noticed

Good for you for going to Edinburgh anyway. It's a challenge sometimes to pretend for a whole weekend, but hopefully you got to enjoy yourself a bit and didn't get quizzed because you can 'put a face on'. Sorry you had to tho xx

Just a update on me. Had a op on the 24th. In hospital for a week. Surgeon says this is the 1st step of many steps to come.

I still think the cancer hasn’t finished with me yet and I feel a few dark clouds overhead.

Ah well, I have a good women by my side

Wscad wrote: Fri Feb 03, 2023 12:31 am Just a update on me. Had a op on the 24th. In hospital for a week. Surgeon says this is the 1st step of many steps to come.

I still think the cancer hasn’t finished with me yet and I feel a few dark clouds overhead.

Ah well, I have a good women by my side

Tough gig.... keep kicking it's arse mate.

Wscad wrote: Fri Feb 03, 2023 12:31 am Just a update on me. Had a op on the 24th. In hospital for a week. Surgeon says this is the 1st step of many steps to come.

I still think the cancer hasn’t finished with me yet and I feel a few dark clouds overhead.

Ah well, I have a good women by my side

We are all here to hold your hand and also listen...

On second thoughts, that may not make you feel better!

Wscad wrote: Fri Feb 03, 2023 12:31 am Just a update on me. Had a op on the 24th. In hospital for a week. Surgeon says this is the 1st step of many steps to come.

I still think the cancer hasn’t finished with me yet and I feel a few dark clouds overhead.

Ah well, I have a good women by my side

Ah mate, that's tough. As Mr Moofo started off with - we're here for you.

Hugs and crossing fingers you can beat that Cu, I mean teddybear. xxx

Been referred to the NHS head shrinkers.
Prior to my first telephone appointment , although to be fair I can't decide if doing it remotely is a good thing or a bad thing, I suppose I can maintain a sliver of dignity, no matter how false, not being in person, any who digression aside, they sent me a mental health questionnaire to complete.

Fairly straight forward stuff, those in the business or who have been through it will know the PHQ-9, GAD-7 etc etc questions, but I wish they'd have told me not to look up what my scores indicate

Ahhh well, the appointment isn't for another week, no point stewing over it until it's been chewed over and hashed out, but I foresee some aggro going forward as I'll be buggered six ways till Sunday if they want to foist the standard SSRI's on me again

I'm a bit depressed today after finding out we have these Tory scum in power until at least Jan 2025, i thought an election to get them out might of come sooner.

Can someone go fucking gun them all down please. Where is Guy Faulks when we need him. They are literally destroying our country day by day.

Greenman wrote: Wed Feb 08, 2023 8:50 am I'm a bit depressed today after finding out we have these Tory scum in power until at least Jan 2025, i thought an election to get them out might of come sooner.

Can someone go fucking gun them all down please. Where is Guy Faulks when we need him. They are literally destroying our country day by day.

Really... do have a word with yourself. This isn't the thread for such bollox. It's a proper thread for proper issues.

MrLongbeard wrote: Mon Feb 06, 2023 11:26 am Been referred to the NHS head shrinkers.
Prior to my first telephone appointment , although to be fair I can't decide if doing it remotely is a good thing or a bad thing, I suppose I can maintain a sliver of dignity, no matter how false, not being in person, any who digression aside, they sent me a mental health questionnaire to complete.

Fairly straight forward stuff, those in the business or who have been through it will know the PHQ-9, GAD-7 etc etc questions, but I wish they'd have told me not to look up what my scores indicate

Ahhh well, the appointment isn't for another week, no point stewing over it until it's been chewed over and hashed out, but I foresee some aggro going forward as I'll be buggered six ways till Sunday if they want to foist the standard SSRI's on me again

GAD7 and PHQ9 scales are not diagnostic tools, rather indicative 'Take a Break' type quick fire questions that act as a gateway for referral.

Primary care (for example your GP) need a frame of reference to pass on to other professionals, more to validate the decision than anything else.

Now i've been around the block a few hundred times, I would suggest that good 'formulation' is the best foundation for understanding context. Without context, you're potentially faced with circumstantial stuff that is just life. For instance: world a bit chaotic and getting you anxious? Girlfriend left you and you're feeling a bit shit? Dog died? Crappy dead-end job that isn't giving you any satisfaction? etc. That lot could make anyone feel down, but it might now be depression or anxiety.

Formulation is a skill, typically within a psychologists/therapists gift. It takes time to work through. What might be less helpful is parroting through another check list of feelings and then qualifying for a tablet.

I'd argue that remote assessments are fine, but the preference for clinicians is face to face. Not only for those non-verbal cues that might not come through on a screen, but also if you can be seen in your own home then you get the environmental cues, too.

Finally, I think it's important to have an idea about what you'd like to improve- as specific as possible. Vagaries such as 'feel less shit' are of limited value.

Now we’re American, we refer to those two states as ‘major’ ( big reaction to your norm caused by an external something - job less etc) and ‘minor’ - no readily quantifiable cause.

The former is arguably more treatable, the latter being chronic, has to be more liveable - you’re unlikely to every be ‘cured’.

So not wide of the mark at all.

I think more should be invested in living with who you are than who you want to be when dealing with the latter.

Potter wrote: Sat Feb 11, 2023 3:43 am feeling in control is a massive pathway to feeling happier

In control of what exactly?

I feel I'm in control of most parts of my life, but feel extremely unhappy most of the time.

tricol wrote: Mon Feb 13, 2023 9:37 am

Potter wrote: Sat Feb 11, 2023 3:43 am feeling in control is a massive pathway to feeling happier

In control of what exactly?

I feel I'm in control of most parts of my life, but feel extremely unhappy most of the time.

I'm not answering for Potter, but my understanding is that having a sense of control and also being able to reasonably predict how things are going for you can influence your level of anxiety and stress. Essentially if you remove or diminish one or both, you're likely to become anxious and stressed. Whether this triggers or deepens depression, I don't know. My personal experience is of stress and anxiety, thankfully, not depression. That said, my two major episodes of stress and anxiety were bloody awful.
There's others in RTTL who will have more knowledge of this, I'm sure.

This might be helpful

https://www.simplypsychology.org/locus-of-control.html

Potter wrote: Sat Feb 11, 2023 3:43 am

Docca wrote: Fri Feb 10, 2023 8:03 am
I think more should be invested in living with who you are than who you want to be when dealing with the latter.

I'd tend to agree, you have to love yourself, but one could interpret this as almost giving up, i.e. learn to live with it, rather than try to change it.
Another view is to decide who you want to be and then try to become that person.

I've always found DiClemente & Prochaska's Stages of Change, or Transtheoretical Model of Behaviour Change, a decent philosophy, I think it was drawn up to help with stopping smoking, but you can apply it to anything.

Fundamentally it's Pavlovian, if you practice doing something or being the person you want to be for long enough then you'll eventually become that person.
I read somewhere that if you force yourself to laugh several times a day, every day, even when you don't want to, then after some time your brain chemistry actually changes and you produce more happy chemicals.

I also fall back on the theory of control, feeling in control is a massive pathway to feeling happier.

Stop copying and pasting and trying to pass it off as your own thoughts...

It's spot on though.

We are creatures of culture and we pick up on things very quickly even without knowing it. A bit like accents, we stay in a forgien country for a prolonged period of time and our accent we have known for decades without knowing changes.

IMO and as Docca says you need to work best with what you have, not try and become someone that has something you don't, that is only as path to destruction and self loathing! What you have from birth is everything you need to be amazing, you just have to work out how to use it to the best of it's abilities!

Matter is energy. In the universe, there are many energy fields which we cannot normally perceive. Some energies have a spiritual source which act upon a person's soul. However, this soul does not exist ab initio, as orthodox Christianity teaches. It has to be brought into existence by a process of guided self-observation. However, this is rarely achieved, owing to man's unique ability to be distracted from spiritual matters by everyday trivia

I would agree with all of that. But, for over 20 years I don't know why I'm unhappy/depressed/anxious. I can look at decisions I've made that fueled it, but it wasn't the root cause. Something went wrong somewhere and it hasn't been put right. Countless CBT sessions, talking therapies and medication has done sweet f**k all.

Then I’d offer caution over investing anymore of your time left on this planet trying to find an answer.

It is entirely possible to ‘change career’ path with your outlook.


I’ll caveat all of my contribution to this thread with my view is probably dated now. I’ve not kept up with current thinking because I know longer treat people and am not a practicing clinician.

There was a beautiful paraphrased statement once given to me by a patient, with a take on ‘the harder I worked, the luckier i got’.

‘I’m the only cunt living my life’. Quite poetic.