Insignificant/ Significant things that BYP or just wind you up a little

[Felix]

Just back from the post office sending my ECU away for a Remap. 30 more troublesome horses.

[Count Steer]

Cars.

The 12v battery in the hybrid shopping trolley appears to have ceased to exist. It went flat in the first cold spell last year but jump started just fine. This time, nothing, zip, nada so we'll find out how good the 3 years European Assistance is (it's under 2 years old)...then in a few months (2nd birthday), it's gone.

Oh...and it's snowing.

[mangocrazy]

I discovered Plus Gas as a penetrant/releasing fluid more years ago than I care to remember and have used tins of the stuff. Stocks were running low so I got on eBay and ordered a couple of cans - no big deal.

When the cans arrived they weren't the old rectangular can, with the spout inside the screw cap, but round cans with a plastic pull ring to open and no spout. Not what I wanted at all. So I cursed a couple of times and started the returns process.

I then started contacting other eBay suppliers to see if what they were selling matched the (rectangular can) photos. In every case they didn't - it was all round cans. So I decided a call to the suppliers was in order. It appears that the Plus Gas brand is now owned by Saint-Gobain Abrasives, so I called their UK HQ (in Stafford as it happens, just down the road from where I used to live).

A very pleasant lady agreed with me that the current format as sold is effectively useless. The old can and pouring spout is no more and was culled from the line up a couple of years ago. The only options are aerosols (200 & 400ml) and the round (spout-less) 500ml can of fluid.

Without a pouring spout to direct the fluid where it's needed the product is about as much use as a chocolate teapot, ashtray on a motorbike etc. etc. As it happens I can still use the supplied cans as refills for my old can and spout, but anybody buying the 500ml can of fluid (and not the aerosols) will be stuffed.

She gave me the email address and telephone number of someone further up the SGA food chain, and I'm now awaiting a call back. We shall see...
I really don't understand how anyone could think that just supplying a can of fluid without any applicator spout was a good idea, or indeed made any sense at all. I do wonder about the mentality of sales teams that think this kind of 'progress' is acceptable and desirable.

[Mr. Dazzle]

They want you to buy the aerosol (probably higher margin) and/or their no doubt available squirty thing (only £19.99 to you) to refill from their 500ml can.

Makes perfect sense viewed in those terms.

[MingtheMerciless]

My 998cc 50 Hp proper Mini was an utter hoot in the snow, my mates 1380cc , with 125hp and Colway Remould Mud and Snows was a complete monster.

[Mussels]

The benevolent computer overlord who lives under my bonnet is there to save me. Blessed are his circuits.

Continuing from this I don't like the way cars are designed to assume driver aids are always working.
If the engine dies the car pretty much rolls on straight until it runs out of energy, brakes stop working after what's stored in the servo is used up and steering is all but impossible. Towing a car with a rope is a thing of the past.
I used to own an old Rover SD1, not dissimilar to my current Jag XF. The Rover suffered mild lift off oversteer at roundabouts but was generally easy to drive, the Jag control kicks in at almost every corner. Is this progress or is it adding stuff for the sake of it?

[MrLongbeard]

They want you to buy the aerosol (probably higher margin) and/or their no doubt available squirty thing (only £19.99 to you) to refill from their 500ml can.

Makes perfect sense viewed in those terms.

500 pipettes is less than a tenner and last for years, that'll learn 'em

[Mr. Dazzle]

I used to own an old Rover SD1, not dissimilar to my current Jag XF. The Rover suffered mild lift off oversteer at roundabouts but was generally easy to drive, the Jag control kicks in at almost every corner. Is this progress or is it adding stuff for the sake of it?

Maybe your shoes have just got heavier with age.

[Count Steer]

Cars.

The 12v battery in the hybrid shopping trolley appears to have ceased to exist. It went flat in the first cold spell last year but jump started just fine. This time, nothing, zip, nada so we'll find out how good the 3 years European Assistance is (it's under 2 years old)...then in a few months (2nd birthday), it's gone.

Oh...and it's snowing.

It lives! A very, very nice man (a biker ) turned up...and I could track his approach so didn't have to stand around etc. The problem seems to be getting a good connection/earth when jump starting - dunno why, it worked last time. He struggled to get a good connection even with his NOCO 3000A booster. (The 12v battery is buried under the rear passenger seat so you have to connect to a +ve terminal in the fuse box). The battery check said the battery is OK but it was flat as a fart.

Lessons learned:

1. Don't keep your jump leads in the boot/hatch...if the battery is flat you can't get in. I had a second pair in the garage but if it had happened elsewhere...I did get the ones in the boot out as I found one of the rear doors would open but the other wouldn't and I got the rear seat down. I had to erm...edit the original, heavier duty, ones as there was so much 'safety plastic' on the clamps you couldn't actually get them to grip.

2. Get a NOCO booster! Sod this jump start with another car malarkey.

Lordy knows what would happen if you couldn't get any juice into it...how do you get the electric handbrake off to tow/load a car? Bah! Technology. Harrumph. That step-sided Chevvy looks more attractive every day.

PS I gave him a brew in an RTTL mug and pointed him at the site.

[DefTrap]

2. Get a NOCO booster! Sod this jump start with another car malarkey.

I watched a YouTube vid the other day - where a completely flat batter effectively prevented the car being unlocked. They connected one of these NOCO things to the numberplate light terminals (I think) and it provided sufficient power to get in.

[Felix]

2. Get a NOCO booster! Sod this jump start with another car malarkey.

I watched a YouTube vid the other day - where a completely flat batter effectively prevented the car being unlocked. They connected one of these NOCO things to the numberplate light terminals (I think) and it provided sufficient power to get in.

I would have thought as the lights were switched then the switch would need to be on to make the power go back.

[Count Steer]

2. Get a NOCO booster! Sod this jump start with another car malarkey.

I watched a YouTube vid the other day - where a completely flat batter effectively prevented the car being unlocked. They connected one of these NOCO things to the numberplate light terminals (I think) and it provided sufficient power to get in.

With this one you can extract a physical key from the fob and it unlocks the drivers door so you can open the bonnet. However, when I needed to use the actual physical key on my old Volvo, after umpteen years of disuse - because central locking, you just press a button y'know, - the actual lock barrel had totally seized*.

* Ooh! 'e' before 'i' and 'c' isn't the first letter! It's not like it's 's' that's the problem ''cos siege and sieve work. Don'tcha just love English?

[McNab]

Cars.

The 12v battery in the hybrid shopping trolley appears to have ceased to exist. It went flat in the first cold spell last year but jump started just fine. This time, nothing, zip, nada so we'll find out how good the 3 years European Assistance is (it's under 2 years old)...then in a few months (2nd birthday), it's gone.

Oh...and it's snowing.

It lives! A very, very nice man (a biker ) turned up...and I could track his approach so didn't have to stand around etc. The problem seems to be getting a good connection/earth when jump starting - dunno why, it worked last time. He struggled to get a good connection even with his NOCO 3000A booster. (The 12v battery is buried under the rear passenger seat so you have to connect to a +ve terminal in the fuse box). The battery check said the battery is OK but it was flat as a fart.

Lessons learned:

1. Don't keep your jump leads in the boot/hatch...if the battery is flat you can't get in. I had a second pair in the garage but if it had happened elsewhere...I did get the ones in the boot out as I found one of the rear doors would open but the other wouldn't and I got the rear seat down. I had to erm...edit the original, heavier duty, ones as there was so much 'safety plastic' on the clamps you couldn't actually get them to grip.

2. Get a NOCO booster! Sod this jump start with another car malarkey.

Lordy knows what would happen if you couldn't get any juice into it...how do you get the electric handbrake off to tow/load a car? Bah! Technology. Harrumph. That step-sided Chevvy looks more attractive every day.

PS I gave him a brew in an RTTL mug and pointed him at the site.

Don't get in and shut the door when you've opened it with a physical key. I was watching some fool on youtube the other day, his electric Porsche Taycan had a flat battery and he managed to get in with the key. Once he was inside he found the door handles inside were electronically connected and couldn't get out. After a bout of over-reaction he had to call his mrs and get her to let him out with the physical key in the spare fob.

[KungFooBob]

Wife's car bonged a couple of times to say the stability/ABS was unavailable. Read the code and it's the front left wheel speed sensor.

She insisted I took it work and she got my car (for her 4 mile commute compared to my 24 miles).

Well I got half way to work and it threw the fault again. It's quite an interesting car to drive in the wet when it's 3c on summer tyres.

I had now idea how much the stability/traction was working in the background until I didn't have it anymore.

Several times I tried to pull away from traffic lights and didn't go anywhere with the rear wheels spinning, you have to really nurse it.

Fortunately the local MB stealership keep them in stock and they're only £20.

It's if I can be arsed to roll around on the floor in the dark trying to change it when I get home.

Just spent an half an hour rolling around on the drive in the dark, using an old bedside lamp and my phone torch. It's a testament to MB (S Class anyway) build quality that everything came off and went back on easily. A quick error clear with Torque Pro and I have no more flashing lights!

All for £20.62.

I've a feeling the Nox sensor is on it's way out with an intermittent error, the parts guy quoted me just under £500 for one of them, gulp!

[Count Steer]

Just to round things off on the 'car is kaput' front. I phoned the rescue people and got an automated response which ended with Ms Robot sending an SMS with a link so I could request assistance on line. So, first of all it used my phone location to identify an address. An address 150+ yards down the road. Put in the registration, not recognised but the system knew the make, select model from drop-down menu...ah, it's not there as a hybrid version. Then in the drop-down options it didn't have 'car won't start and no dashboard display/lights etc' as an option.

After that it went pretty smoothly.

Chap arrives, looks at the (what looks like chaos to me) stuff under the bonnet and says 'Oh! It's a hybrid, haven't seen one of these before' - he meant the model (!), he'd seen a hybrid before, obvs. He was He confirmed that you can charge the battery by connecting to the +ve terminal in the fuse box and a good earth (I'd tried that initially but my Halfords charger said 'nope' - after he'd put some jolt into it and got it to 25%, charger said OK so I left it on charge at 2.0A for a couple of hours and will carry on with that tomorrow. I could up it to 4.0A or 8.0A but no rush). He printed out a battery report that says the battery is good but only 25% charged.

Overall, pretty pleased with the rescue stuff, but really the 'manufacturer' needs to get their ducks in a row and get the data out there (the thing doesn't exist on the mega Haynes almanac that these folk use) and when I took it in to the supplier for a recall on the 'Oops, crashed, phoning for help' thing they'd only had one in before. Sheesh, it's just a little Toyota in a Mazda frock! There's probably 10,000s of the Toyota version out there in the UK.

[The Spin Doctor]

2. Get a NOCO booster! Sod this jump start with another car malarkey.

I watched a YouTube vid the other day - where a completely flat batter effectively prevented the car being unlocked. They connected one of these NOCO things to the numberplate light terminals (I think) and it provided sufficient power to get in.

That's just ridiculous. At least I can open the driver's door with a key.

[Mussels]

2. Get a NOCO booster! Sod this jump start with another car malarkey.

I watched a YouTube vid the other day - where a completely flat batter effectively prevented the car being unlocked. They connected one of these NOCO things to the numberplate light terminals (I think) and it provided sufficient power to get in.

That's just ridiculous. At least I can open the driver's door with a key.

I have one of these emergency keys so I tried it when I bought the car, it works on the driver's door but not the boot. The battery is in the boot.

[Count Steer]

I watched a YouTube vid the other day - where a completely flat batter effectively prevented the car being unlocked. They connected one of these NOCO things to the numberplate light terminals (I think) and it provided sufficient power to get in.

That's just ridiculous. At least I can open the driver's door with a key.

I have one of these emergency keys so I tried it when I bought the car, it works on the driver's door but not the boot. The battery is in the boot.

Chances are, so are the jump leads.

I suspect the problem we're having is that when the battery was flat last year I jump started it and went for a drive then just used it. Then lots of short journeys - and it's never really got fully charged again. Although, when it went in for a recall they wanted it overnight to make sure the battery was fully charged...but I assumed at the time they meant the power battery rather than the 12v. Now, I'm not sure. (It was a software update that takes a long time. As it was to do with the emergency phone alert thingy I can only assume the update came over the mobile phone network. Software updates don't usually take long).

[KungFooBob]

Every vehicle I've had with a battery in the boot, or under the driver's seat in the case of the vans, have had charging posts under the bonnet.

[Mr. Dazzle]

Same here.

My old Ov Lov had two batteries, neither of which was easily accessible.