revtothelimit - motorbike forum

Inspired by Gremlin (I'll leave him to paste it in), what have you got?

Here's a few of mine:

Chap very proud of his landscaped garden and new lawns. So, overnight, we added molehills.

Bloke always blagging lifts off the same other colleague. Who's car acquired a TAXI on the roof.

Other, team effort:

Manager walks into his office one morning, phone rings. He answers, to hear "Black ear!" Handset has been attacked with an ink pad. He goes to the gents to wash it off. The lights are switched off (switch between the two doors). Inside door, which opens 'in', has had the handle removed.

Usually involve a dymo machine and some rude words.

I don't think H&S would sanction anything else these days.

One of our colleagues always used to leave his (shit) car unlocked and often with the keys in. Obviously it got moved around the carpark and hidden fairly often.

It had one of thse pollen filters behind the glove box which you could access quickly with no tools. I took said filter out, modified it to contain a harmonica, then put it back. He spent ages trying to figure out why his AC made stupid noise.

I used to work in a print room so black ear was common. Also pulling the phone away from someones ear when they're talking on the phone. They instinctively pull it back and you let go and WHACK! Always calling someone away from something important by saying there's a peg on the phone for you and of course there's be a clothes peg. Substitute peg fro multiple other named items.

Best one i ever did, but you had to be there and know the bloke involved really, was a cocky salesman had an appointment with our Director. He came bowling into the office saying I have an appointment with Mr Smith, point me to his office please mate. Signs up everywhere saying no admittance past this point. Ring bell for attention etc, but no he just opens the door and comes striding in. So I say its that door there and point to the Directors door. As he starts to walk away, I say to him, "A word to the wise mate, he's a bit deaf so speak up". For the next 20 minutes we are absolutely pissing ourselves listening to him shouting at the Director! When he'd gone the Director came out saying what an awful loud man. Bloody sales people love the sound of their own voice. Cue my colleagues bursting out laughing. Director looks at me and says why do I think you're in someway involved in this!

I used to write notes such as "Gay and available" and stick them on peoples back as they left for home! My colleague got all the way to Bexleyheath before someone told him!

Re drilled the attaching bolt holes on the arms of someone's office chair moving then in a couple of inches.

The person involved was already a snug fit in the chair so those extra couple of inches meant that their arse got well and truly wedged .

Plug your mouse into their usb port. Simple yet effective.

Tartan paint. And wanking into the apprentice's ear, obviously

Taff wrote: Fri Sep 10, 2021 4:55 pm Re drilled the attaching bolt holes on the arms of someone's office chair moving then in a couple of inches.

The person involved was already a snug fit in the chair so those extra couple of inches meant that their arse got well and truly wedged .

A probably OCD bloke always had a stack of trade magazines, unread - unopened and still in the plastic - on his desk. So putting them everso slightly out of square was a regular chore. His desk drawers were always feastiduously neatly arranged. And locked. Fastidiously arranged, that is, until the day someone turned the entire 3 drawer unit upside down and gave it a shake, then replaced it exactly where it had been before.

chutzpah wrote: Fri Sep 10, 2021 6:39 pm Plug your mouse into their usb port. Simple yet effective.

One of the grads had a watch with an infrared control option.

One if our monitors used an ir remote control for settings.

Cue engineer called down to edit a circuit design. Every time he moved the cursor close to the edge of the screen, the entire display scrolled ...

The same grad altered the Windows language setting to 'Klingon' or something - then couldn't read it to reset the English

Asian Boss wrote: Fri Sep 10, 2021 7:04 pm And wanking into the apprentice's ear, obviously

Close.

New folk would be introduced to Texas Tom via the means of him standing behind the seated victim and draping his huge flaccid member over their shoulder.

Where to start, I've a long history of being an annoying cunt at work

Tek screwing tool boxes to the floor
Shrink wrapping a car
Gripfilling a lunchbox closed
Putting a car on top of a container with a forklift
Stealing a bike and locking it to the steel beam cross section in the warehouse roof
Being asked for help by a colleague who caught his trousers resulting in a 6" tear.. I helped turn it into a 18" tear
Plus many other "classics" involving superglue, long waits, left handed tools, gaffer tape, swapping batteries etc etc

Soldering binding wire onto the end of a reel of solder. This caused much swearing when people burnt their fingers testing the end of the soldering iron after the "solder" wouldn't melt.

Putting a fully charged 100v 20,000 microfarad capacitor in peoples tool boxes.

Back in the old days of dumb terminals with no mice, two terminals next to each other, swap the keyboard positions over so the left keyboard controls the right screen and vice versa, preferably after the two users have logged in, only really works with stupid people.

Not an office prank, but a training course one, you're in a room full of telephone PBXs, each student is given a PBX to configure, the PBXs are inter linked, you're sharper than the other students, you get bored when you've done the basics, you discover you can configure the link to another PBX, you pick the dumbest fool in the room, let's call him "Barry the Cat", minutes of fun can be had calling his extensions and hanging up as he picks the phone up.

Taipan wrote: Fri Sep 10, 2021 4:31 pm
As he starts to walk away, I say to him, "A word to the wise mate, he's a bit deaf so speak up". For the next 20 minutes we are absolutely pissing ourselves listening to him shouting at the Director!

In ye olden days, the covers over the mouthpiece and earpiece could be unscrewed.

Insert a circle of paper to muffle the microphone.

User adapts (by shouting) to constantly being told that they can't be heard.

Remove from microphone and insert to earpiece. User is then shouting "I can't hear you!".

Taipan wrote: Fri Sep 10, 2021 4:31 pm
I used to write notes such as "Gay and available" and stick them on peoples back as they left for home! My colleague got all the way to Bexleyheath before someone told him!

I walked around for about 2 hours with a small paper set of angel wings hooked on my pullover:)

We sent people off with all sorts of stuff hung on them.

Le_Fromage_Grande wrote: Fri Sep 10, 2021 7:32 pm minutes of fun can be had calling his extensions and hanging up as he picks the phone up.

We had an office overlooking a workshop area. They had one phone, right in the centre.

It would ring, then be hung up just as they answered.

So they learned to wait a bit, but it always stopped as they were about to pick it up.

They realised that perhaps they could be seen, so they hatched a plan - starburst of people hurrying to check every surrounding office.

Sadly for them, our office had a suspended floor, with the phone still connected. We, of course, were all sat innocently working. Until the door closed and we retrieved the phone just as they went to answer the call.

I may have once made an enquiry to The Jahovah's Witnesses on behalf of a work colleague as payback for a prank he played on me. I thought nothing more of it and shortly afterwards my contract at Air Traffic Control finished.

Two weeks later he rang me, livid as fuck. Turns out a car full of them turned up at the Swanwick control centre and asked for him at main security gate. Security were not very happy as you had to have a pre booked appointment and a Security cleared escort to get on site. I denied everything.

Another colleague called me the next were to say his boss had a meeting with Dave to reiterate that he needed to make him aware of any religious meeting in advance.

KungFooBob wrote: Fri Sep 10, 2021 4:17 pm Usually involve a dymo machine and some rude words.

I don't think H&S would sanction anything else these days.

I rode away from work and commuted for 3 days with "I love fisting" in yellow dymo tape on the bottom of my Duacti's numberplate.

If anyone leaves their computer unlocked at work they get the ncage extension added to chrome, harmless but frustrating.
https://chrome.google.com/webstore/deta ... mdeokofgaf

Horse wrote: Fri Sep 10, 2021 7:06 pm So putting them everso slightly out of square was a regular chore.

A bunch of us used to incrementally rotate a colleague's monitor ever so slightly when he was away from his desk. Not enough to make him notice any one change. It would get to a proper jaunty angle before he moved it back.

Mussels wrote: Fri Sep 10, 2021 8:55 pm If anyone leaves their computer unlocked at work they get the ncage extension added to chrome, harmless but frustrating.
https://chrome.google.com/webstore/deta ... mdeokofgaf

I left mine for a few minutes, came back to find a colleague's ID photo gurning at me. I coloured it orange and flipped it upside down, then left it.

He and another guy had desks that backed onto windows, meaning their screens were visible to visitors walking to Reception.

Their game was to send each other emails, on the off-chance that they would be opened without checking. If so, a typical message would be a very rude word writ in huge font ...