Insignificant/ Significant things that BYP or just wind you up a little

[MrLongbeard]

Surprisingly no, I think I uttered a brief 'bugger' when it dropped

Good job it didn't fall on your cat.

Would have been a tad smelly, we got rid of our (her) last cats over 25 years ago.

[demographic]

Amazon have a YouTube ad featuring small barking dogs.

Watching on the big telly and the ad comes on.

Cue 20 odd stone of Rottweilers going from fast asleep to all out war in 0.5 seconds.

Thanks Amazon.

Ha, I know the advert.
25 kilo Bull Lurcher sleeps through it, the 10 kilo Cava-Jack we were fostering yapped like fook when it came on.

[Sunny]

Just had an email from Brittany Ferries, because of adverse weather conditions my sailing from Santander is leaving early tomorrow. That'll be 24 hours in the cabin trying to avoid being sea sick.

Go buy some seasickness tickets man! Sturgeron is my preferred brand - they saw me through the Plymouth/Santander trip no bother

[Count Steer]

I have a couple of BMPs (well, simmer it gently).

a) 'active' clothing with tight cuffs. Are the manufacturers completely unaware that lots of people indulging in 'activities' actually wear watches and might, on occasion, want to look at them?

b) 'Deserve'. Hardly a day goes by without someone on news programmes claiming that some group of people 'deserve' something. ie 'Our children deserve an excellent education'. Why? What have they done so far apart from being born to deserve anything? It's fairer to say that their parents may have contributed to the economy so they deserve to see it repaid as decent education for spawn. 'The people*' deserve a great health service. Well, some of them do, some of them deserve a kick up the backside and/or packing off to the Soylent Green factory.

* You can add c) reification. Generalisations like 'the people', the 'man on the Clapham omnibus', 'the taxpayer' etc etc etc.

[Saga Lout]

...

* You can add c) reification. Generalisations like 'the people', the 'man on the Clapham omnibus', 'the taxpayer' etc etc etc.

Toughest job in the world. Do you know how hard it is to travel on the Clapham omnibus, day in, day out, year in year out. Just waiting for somebody to ask your opinion? Having an opinion ready on every subject under the sun? That man deserves your respect.

[Skub]

b) 'Deserve'....

It's lovely,dry and sunny weather here for about a week,but the council have slarried salt everywhere. They deserve a good,authoritive hoof in the cojones.

Plus,I deserve better.

[the_priest]

Been ticketing cars in the private church car park that have been taking the piss with parking there all day and stopping our church members and hall users parking there when they have things on.

One fellow came to the vicarage door when I was out and complained to my son, who told him he did not know anything about it (which is true as it has nothing to do with him). I saw that chap this morning and he asked if I owned the land, and I explained that I am licensed to this Benefice, which means that it is under my authority and within my remit to control what happens on the premises. I had to unzip my jacket and show my clerical collar for him to believe me.... I don't like playing hard ball, but sometimes you have to lay the law down firmly, if politely.

Had someone else who just wanted to park for "half an hour", when there were spaces in the council parking right outside. He did move on though and was polite. Going to put a barrier at the entrance to the car park and lock it.

[Saga Lout]

Been ticketing cars in the private church car park that have been taking the piss with parking there all day and stopping our church members and hall users parking there when they have things on.

One fellow came to the vicarage door when I was out and complained to my son, who told him he did not know anything about it (which is true as it has nothing to do with him). I saw that chap this morning and he asked if I owned the land, and I explained that I am licensed to this Benefice, which means that it is under my authority and within my remit to control what happens on the premises. I had to unzip my jacket and show my clerical collar for him to believe me.... I don't like playing hard ball, but sometimes you have to lay the law down firmly, if politely.

Had someone else who just wanted to park for "half an hour", when there were spaces in the council parking right outside. He did move on though and was polite. Going to put a barrier at the entrance to the car park and lock it.

I've often wondered how it works when the vicar asks God to forgive his trespasses the way the vicar forgives others.

[Yorick]

Been ticketing cars in the private church car park that have been taking the piss with parking there all day and stopping our church members and hall users parking there when they have things on.

One fellow came to the vicarage door when I was out and complained to my son, who told him he did not know anything about it (which is true as it has nothing to do with him). I saw that chap this morning and he asked if I owned the land, and I explained that I am licensed to this Benefice, which means that it is under my authority and within my remit to control what happens on the premises. I had to unzip my jacket and show my clerical collar for him to believe me.... I don't like playing hard ball, but sometimes you have to lay the law down firmly, if politely.

Had someone else who just wanted to park for "half an hour", when there were spaces in the council parking right outside. He did move on though and was polite. Going to put a barrier at the entrance to the car park and lock it.

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[Yorick]

Farking wind

Only joking but the hellish wind here can piss you off.
Set of on usual ride and wind was gentle up here. When I got to southern end of the beach front, the wind sneaked up on me
Normally a lovely ride along the 4 mile sea front, but not today . Crawling along

And only got any benefit on last half mile home.
Average speed dropped below 10 MPH for first time in a long time

Oh, and Saturday's enduro ride was fun up on the hills
On one tough climb we had wind blowing from side. Was OK till got any wheelspin, then the wind pushed me sideways

[the_priest]

Been ticketing cars in the private church car park that have been taking the piss with parking there all day and stopping our church members and hall users parking there when they have things on.

One fellow came to the vicarage door when I was out and complained to my son, who told him he did not know anything about it (which is true as it has nothing to do with him). I saw that chap this morning and he asked if I owned the land, and I explained that I am licensed to this Benefice, which means that it is under my authority and within my remit to control what happens on the premises. I had to unzip my jacket and show my clerical collar for him to believe me.... I don't like playing hard ball, but sometimes you have to lay the law down firmly, if politely.

Had someone else who just wanted to park for "half an hour", when there were spaces in the council parking right outside. He did move on though and was polite. Going to put a barrier at the entrance to the car park and lock it.

I've often wondered how it works when the vicar asks God to forgive his trespasses the way the vicar forgives others.

Oi this is mah laaand! Freedoooooommmmmmm!

Well, He does forgive us, he also expects us to protect and safeguard the wellbeing and assist our parishioners in carrying out their work....

[Yorick]

Been ticketing cars in the private church car park that have been taking the piss with parking there all day and stopping our church members and hall users parking there when they have things on.

One fellow came to the vicarage door when I was out and complained to my son, who told him he did not know anything about it (which is true as it has nothing to do with him). I saw that chap this morning and he asked if I owned the land, and I explained that I am licensed to this Benefice, which means that it is under my authority and within my remit to control what happens on the premises. I had to unzip my jacket and show my clerical collar for him to believe me.... I don't like playing hard ball, but sometimes you have to lay the law down firmly, if politely.

Had someone else who just wanted to park for "half an hour", when there were spaces in the council parking right outside. He did move on though and was polite. Going to put a barrier at the entrance to the car park and lock it.

I've often wondered how it works when the vicar asks God to forgive his trespasses the way the vicar forgives others.

Oi this is mah laaand!

get-off-to-my-property-ken-finley-cullen.gif (421.53 KiB) Viewed 762 times

[DefTrap]

Been ticketing cars in the private church car park that have been taking the piss with parking there all day and stopping our church members and hall users parking there when they have things on.

Does the church have a parking-enforcement division? Do you have to pay with prayer and pilgrimage or is it one strike and straight to hell?

[the_priest]

Been ticketing cars in the private church car park that have been taking the piss with parking there all day and stopping our church members and hall users parking there when they have things on.

Does the church have a parking-enforcement division? Do you have to pay with prayer and pilgrimage or is it one strike and straight to hell?

Nope. Hell is a free ticket for those who don't want salvation.

We could have a private firm monitor the parking situation, they levy fines and so on, but it is a not how I want to deal with things. I would give preference to people who really needed a parking spot, an NHS carer visiting someone and similar, but I have limited parking spaces that do need to be kept clear for when we have larger groups attending services, using the church hall etc... funerals, weddings, Baptisms and more.

[gremlin]

The last couple of days have had me doing fiddly stuff up close. Just out of curiosity and frustration I picked up a pair of Mrs. G's reading glasses and, lo and behold, clarity and focus was there!!!

Guess that means both my long and short sight is fecked now.

Ah, the joys of age.

[KungFooBob]

The last couple of days have had me doing fiddly stuff up close. Just out of curiosity and frustration I picked up a pair of Mrs. G's reading glasses and, lo and behold, clarity and focus was there!!!

Guess that means both my long and short sight is fecked now.

Ah, the joys of age.

Have you considered masturbating less?

[gremlin]

The last couple of days have had me doing fiddly stuff up close. Just out of curiosity and frustration I picked up a pair of Mrs. G's reading glasses and, lo and behold, clarity and focus was there!!!

Guess that means both my long and short sight is fecked now.

Ah, the joys of age.

Have you considered masturbating less?

I'll have you know, young man, that any nob-related action havsbeen off the cards since my op. I have ball sacks the size of pumpkins at the moment. In fact, there are Buddhist monks having more trouser banana fun than me at the moment.

[Yorick]

The last couple of days have had me doing fiddly stuff up close. Just out of curiosity and frustration I picked up a pair of Mrs. G's reading glasses and, lo and behold, clarity and focus was there!!!

Guess that means both my long and short sight is fecked now.

Ah, the joys of age.

I've always had great close up vision but used mild glasses for telly and driving.
But last few years they've improved and only need the glasses for driving at night.

[Saga Lout]

Been ticketing cars in the private church car park that have been taking the piss with parking there all day and stopping our church members and hall users parking there when they have things on.

Does the church have a parking-enforcement division? Do you have to pay with prayer and pilgrimage or is it one strike and straight to hell?

Prayer and pilgrimage. Or buy an indulgence.

[Pirahna]

Filled up with diesel and decided I needed a treat so bought a packet of salted caramel M@M's, opened them, had a couple and set off. Breaking for a roundabout the packet became dislodged, plop, plop, plop in quick succession as the entire contents hit the floor then rolled into the hole for the passenger step (I was in the van). I had to stop, it sounded like a pool match was going on in the passenger footwell.