Insignificant/ Significant things that BYP or just wind you up a little

[Skub]

We're not spooning, mind.

It was perfectly plausible up until that point.

[KungFooBob]

Item on eBay. £144.99 Inc free delivery.

There's a best offer option, so I try £120... But using best offer knocks the free delivery off so the total comes back at £144.00.

I then put £100 in and the offer total comes back at £120, so I submit.

The seller responds within a minute, counter offer £135 Inc delivery.

I hit accept, go to checkout and eBay has calculated I've committed to buy at £162!

Wtaf!

[Yorick]

Not BMP, but something I don't like, is when Mrs Gremlin isn't here. She went up to Manchester to see the Gremlinette yesterday, back on Friday. I've got up, made a bit of brekkie, put some music on, but it's too quiet in the house. I have nobody to sing to nor listen to my bad dad jokes.

Penny goes to UK every 2 months, for 2 weeks to see her elderly mum.

She goes today and first few days are great. Then it gets a bit lonely.

But her 91 year old mum needs her.

I can arrange to come over for a fortnight and keep you entertained. Obvs I'll need expenses paid, free accommodation and beer on tap, but it's the kind of sacrifice I'm willing to make for the greater good.

We're not spooning, mind.

That'll be cheap. You were pissed on 3 pints last time

[Taipan]

Sold something yesterday on ebay to someone in America via their global shipping programme. Was more than usually surprised at how little of the sale price got transferred to me so I had a look & they've not only taken postage cost into account before applying the final value fee percentage but also the local purchase tax for the recipient.

Thieving fuckers.

Yup. We've bailed on using eBay to sell on now and most people I know have as well because of their fees. I think they are thieving greedy fuckers. My wife has sold and bought quite a lot of stuff on Vinted lately and my mate uses shpock with good success..

[Noggin]

Not BMP, but something I don't like, is when Mrs Gremlin isn't here. She went up to Manchester to see the Gremlinette yesterday, back on Friday. I've got up, made a bit of brekkie, put some music on, but it's too quiet in the house. I have nobody to sing to nor listen to my bad dad jokes.

Penny goes to UK every 2 months, for 2 weeks to see her elderly mum.

She goes today and first few days are great. Then it gets a bit lonely.

But her 91 year old mum needs her.

I can arrange to come over for a fortnight and keep you entertained. Obvs I'll need expenses paid, free accommodation and beer on tap, but it's the kind of sacrifice I'm willing to make for the greater good.

We're not spooning, mind.

TBF, if you can get me the same deal, I'll go too

I need to learn how to ride a moto off road

[Noggin]

Not remotely insignificant, but just got a message from my mate that had the really bad crash back in September. I got him to get in touch with White Dalton solicitors and that's been such a good thing - both for his mental state and the outcome.

Ok, most of the message should be in happy things as the lawyer has said (very angrily, see the comment below for why) that they should win now and he'll do everything he can to get the absolute best for my mate, but -

just thought you’d be interested to know, lawyer man rang me, he’s spoken to a couple of key witnesses about my crash, one of them followed the learner all the way from *** to the crash and stated that she was all over the road all the time, so much so she was making other cars do avoidance manoeuvres, at the time of the crash both witnesses said she was between 3-4 foot on my side of the road, once the crash had happened learner and what we presume is her mum just sat in there car while one of the witnesses came running over to see if I was ok, the witness claimed I was dead (not breathing and blue) so she preformed cpr on me, luckily she was a trainee paramedic, she did that for 20 minutes whilst waiting for the ambulance, about 10 minutes in the learners mum got out the car and came over to me taking pictures of me basically dead on the floor, the learners mum then said she could smell alcohol on me, another witness said she pretty quickly turned everyone against her by showing no remorse and trying to blame me dying on the floor when about 6 people had seen what happened

The bits that are boiling my piss are in bold. I mean, reading the account has made me cry again - the positive bit from the lawyer also made me cry for the opposite reasons!

But FFS - some woman took her learner daughter out and caused a major life changing crash (could have been life ending without the trainee paramedic) and took ZERO responsibility. I know insurance companies have always said don't admit anything - but seriously?? How callous can you get???

[Rockburner]

Not remotely insignificant, but just got a message from my mate that had the really bad crash back in September. I got him to get in touch with White Dalton solicitors and that's been such a good thing - both for his mental state and the outcome.

Ok, most of the message should be in happy things as the lawyer has said (very angrily, see the comment below for why) that they should win now and he'll do everything he can to get the absolute best for my mate, but -

just thought you’d be interested to know, lawyer man rang me, he’s spoken to a couple of key witnesses about my crash, one of them followed the learner all the way from *** to the crash and stated that she was all over the road all the time, so much so she was making other cars do avoidance manoeuvres, at the time of the crash both witnesses said she was between 3-4 foot on my side of the road, once the crash had happened learner and what we presume is her mum just sat in there car while one of the witnesses came running over to see if I was ok, the witness claimed I was dead (not breathing and blue) so she preformed cpr on me, luckily she was a trainee paramedic, she did that for 20 minutes whilst waiting for the ambulance, about 10 minutes in the learners mum got out the car and came over to me taking pictures of me basically dead on the floor, the learners mum then said she could smell alcohol on me, another witness said she pretty quickly turned everyone against her by showing no remorse and trying to blame me dying on the floor when about 6 people had seen what happened

The bits that are boiling my piss are in bold. I mean, reading the account has made me cry again - the positive bit from the lawyer also made me cry for the opposite reasons!

But FFS - some woman took her learner daughter out and caused a major life changing crash (could have been life ending without the trainee paramedic) and took ZERO responsibility. I know insurance companies have always said don't admit anything - but seriously?? How callous can you get???

Some people are cunts. Unfortunately we have to learn how to live around them.

[gremlin]

Some people are cunts. Unfortunately we have to learn how to live around them.

As is my wont to say, 95% of the people you meet are nice, decent people. The other 5% are cunts. The trick is learning identify, and ultimately avoid, that piss-boiling 5%.

When I become the benevolent dictator of the Earth (it's a matter of when, not if), the 'Five Percenters', or at least the ones that survive the first cull, will be forced to wear 'Cunty Hats' whenever they step outside, to enable the 95% to avoid interaction with them.

[Sadlonelygit]

Some people are cunts. Unfortunately we have to learn how to live around them.

As is my wont to say, 95% of the people you meet are nice, decent people. The other 5% are cunts. The trick is learning identify, and ultimately avoid, that piss-boiling 5%.

When I become the benevolent dictator of the Earth (it's a matter of when, not if), the 'Five Percenters', or at least the ones that survive the first cull, will be forced to wear 'Cunty Hats' whenever they step outside, to enable the 95% to avoid interaction with them.

7 ⅝ in a nice light blue or grey with a contrasting logo, preferably in italics

[Sadlonelygit]

Life
Firstly the van playing up
Secondly the weather, it's proper shite here ATM
Thirdly, the strimmer. Used it after the winter lay up, no issues. Go away for 3 weeks, it needs a complete carb strip, and another set of fuel pipes!!!!!!! Luckily I bought a couple of metres of hose last time so just the ballache of trying to fix it between the showers!

[Jody]

For me today.....

it's going to FB market place and seeing multiple adverts that are so cheap, that they are obviously fake, that's bad enough, but what's BMP is that these lazy twats all use the same god damn photos #facepalm

[Mussels]

Some people are cunts. Unfortunately we have to learn how to live around them.

As is my wont to say, 95% of the people you meet are nice, decent people. The other 5% are cunts. The trick is learning identify, and ultimately avoid, that piss-boiling 5%.

When I become the benevolent dictator of the Earth (it's a matter of when, not if), the 'Five Percenters', or at least the ones that survive the first cull, will be forced to wear 'Cunty Hats' whenever they step outside, to enable the 95% to avoid interaction with them.

Always worth remembering that 5% are attracted to certain careers where they will be over represented, I think they find power more enticing than money.

[Taipan]

Next door have tree surgeons in, who also do driveways and block paving and look how they park! Right across my driveway!

[gremlin]

West End theatre prices.

Gremlinette noted that 'Spirited Away' had been adapted for the stage and was running at The Coliseum. Two tickets for a matinee performance, just £458 to you, squire.
Want to see Tom Holland in the latest adaption of Romeo and Juliet? £275 a ticket, guv.

Who the fuck is paying these prices? I'll stick with seeing my mate who does a bit on am-dram for The Fairlight Players. Tickets are tenner.

Just read the reviews of the new Romeo and Juliette production.

Think I'll save my money.

[KungFooBob]

Bike insurance renewal for my Bullet.

It's almost double last year!!!!

It's gone up to £79.38 from £46.95... and so the hunt for a cheaper quote begins!

[weeksy]

Some fucking tit cut across the hatching on motorway junction right in front of us up by Glasgow.

As if that wasn't bad enough he spat up a massive stone which put a 5" crack in the windscreen on the Transit, that's now grown to 15" crack in 4 hours.

Can't get a booking for weekend up here so hopefully it holds out

[MyLittleStudPony]

Modern windscreens seem to hold in place regardless of cracks. That's shitty luck and fingers crossed for you. But I bet it'll be fine until you get a chance to get it replaced, whenever that might be.

[MrLongbeard]

It'll be fine, mine has a crack from one side to the middle, been like it for months, I'm loathed to get it done so far from the MOT being due in case the new one gets chipped.

[weeksy]

The Auto Windscreen woman said "it's laminated so don't worry" but it's slightly disconcerting all the same.

[Felix]

I have RTTL stickers covering a spider chip on my windscreen as the MOT man is not allowed to remove it. Think its two years now and still not growing its legs. Cracks tend to be OK. Chanced if it cracking into 1000 bits is quite remote. Only even had a screen shatter once with a stone but that was instant. Had to drive from Fort William back to Edinburgh in the rain with no screen. Tell you what, the old Datsun with fucked suspension never handled so good