Your Parents,what did they give you?

[Skub]

From my mother I inherited a love of motorcycles. She died when I was 12,so I didn't get to know her as an adult.
I often think got all my doubtful characteristics from my father,balanced out by the maternal genes.

My mother was outgoing and friendly, my father was socially ill at ease with a ferocious and violent temper. The mix allows me to be at ease in front of large numbers of people,yet be awkward in a room full of people.

In my recent years age has mellowed my inherited temper and I'm generally more comfortable in my own skin.
I idly wonder what fuckups I've passed onto my own offspring, though they all still speak to me,so that's something.
What about you lot,who do you blame/thank for being who you are?

[weeksy]

Woah, deep one.... My mother gave me literally everything she could. She didn't have much, but gave what she could. She was a feisty woman, angry and quite frankly terrifying at times lol. She gave me a love of Liverpool FC for sure along with a good family values. I've not inherited the anger or feistiness, so i'm not in truth sure what i got in that context.

My dad, showed me everything i don't want to be as a person. So i ensured i couldn't be any further from being him if i tried. Although i get the impression we would share the same sense of humor. I've not seen him for 30+ years, i assume if he was dead my sister would tell me. Although i wouldn't lose sleep.

Becoming a parent made me 10X the human i was before. I was at times a horrible boy, in a playful pisstaking Scouse way... but pretty harsh at times. My lad and wife have made me massively better as a person.

[Beancounter]

Both of them gave me a strong work ethic but not in a good way. Both would work much longer hours than is healthy, Dad would work overtime nearly every weekend whilst Mum would be working 12-14 hour days. I've also inherited job anxiety in that I suffer imposter syndrome from Mum and fear of being unemployed from Dad (he worked for Ford at Dagenham so cost-cutting and redundancies were annual things the family had to get through). I also work stupidly long hours for no benefit other than to make me feel better about my working self.

As a kid Mum was quite feisty and always a bit aggy, Dad was deaf so as a family we would shout to communicate - I now hate to hear raised voices and will leave the room or even the house if the shouting gets too much. My missus grew up in a similar household and shouts regularly which in turn means the kids shout, trying to get them all to appreciate shouting is for when someone is about to walk in front of a car is very difficult.

The good things I've been instilled with are compassion, empathy and honesty (even noted by a judge in a recent work-related court case).

I don't think I was a bad child, never in trouble with the police/school/wrong crowd, but I have a twin brother and know that we'd could be a handful as narky teens.

[ChrisW]

My mother was outgoing and friendly, my father was socially ill at ease with a ferocious and violent temper. The mix allows me to be at ease in front of large numbers of people,yet be awkward in a room full of people.

Yours is not a direct parallel with my experience with my parents but this does resonate with me all the same.

[Ian]

My mum gave me everything, she wasn't perfect but I loved her. My father well, the arsehole is dead thank fuck so I'm not reminding myself of that shit

[mangocrazy]

I got a love of motorbikes and a taste for wine from Dad, and a love of photography and music from Mum. I also find myself repeating a lot of Dad's pithy one-liners, doubtless learned in various theatres of war in WW2. This delightful little proverb is (I believe) Arabic in origin:

Life is like a cucumber. One minute it's in your hand, the next minute it's up your arse...

[Count Steer]

Father was a quiet man, absorbed in his hobbies. Even got a job that fitted in with them - up early, finish work in time for lunch, quick nap then off to the smallholding. Never raised a hand to me* but you knew when you'd disappointed him. He could be a source of good advice too. Mum did all the heavy lifting (and the smacked legs ) bringing us all up. Didn't have much but never wanted for anything if you know what I mean. I had the benefit of being the youngest (and the improving times).

The thing I'd say they gave me that made a big difference was support and encouragement through education. They were both pleased as punch when I got to Grammar school - despite the cost of uniforms etc + the going to Uni bit. All that stuff paid dividends. The downside, for my mother particularly, was, as a result, life took me further and further away. As I often say, 'give 'em wings and they just might fly'.

*even when I tapped a window with an iron bar because everybody told me glass broke easily so, obvs, at the age of about 5 I had to find out just how easily. Crash! Tinkle! A scientist/engineer from the start.

[Le_Fromage_Grande]

My father was an utter cunt, and so am I

Edit: to be a little fair, his father was a much bigger cunt than my father was, my grandfather really was a nasty piece of work.

[Yorick]

My mother gave me everything she could.
My father gave me a huge scar on my forehead from beating me when I was 9 or 10. Wanker

[ChrisW]

*even when I tapped a window with an iron bar because everybody told me glass broke easily so, obvs, at the age of about 5 I had to find out just how easily. Crash! Tinkle! A scientist/engineer from the start.

I bought my eldest brother, also an engineer, a fancy toothbrush for christmas one year - yes, I know, but it was well meant and & from one of those shops in Covent Garden that sold lots of matt black stuff in the late eighties. Anyway, the toothbrush was snapped in half within a minute of being un-wrappped.

When asked why he said he was interested to see how much it would bend before snapping.

[Felix]

My father was an utter cunt, and so am I

Funny you should say that as its exactly what i was thinking when i seen the title but more i can be a cunt but get that from a dad. Mum was not into much as she had to bring three kids up almost on her own and never had much money for any hobbies. My love of bikes probably came from hanging out in rock bars for the bands. Depending on what bad you would get various patch clubs turning up and i just loved the sound of the bikes. One guy offered me a spin round the block and that was me hooked. Not the patch club side, just the bikes.

[Couchy]

My dad gave me the love of motorbikes, mum looked after us sort of. No emotional stuff and left to our own devices as kids makes adulthood difficult. Dad was an arsehole with mum and didn’t treat her well. I blanked out a lot of stuff. Dad’s dead mum I tolerate. What thy did give me was how not to bring children up so I’m the opposite with my daughter so that’s a positive

[KungFooBob]

I got male pattern baldness from my dad and a Honda Melody Deluxe from my mum.

[Bigyin]

My dad is a very quiet man, never smoked, swore or drank and will do anything possible to avoid confrontation ..... He rarely shows any negative emotion at all but occasionally breaks out in loud laughter when something hits the mark. In character we couldnt be more different in all honesty.

He has worked hard all his life and deserves what he has earned. I first discovered bikes through him leaving copies of Bike magazine around as he always wanted another one after his teenage years but family came first and although he worked his arse off we were skint so money was carefully managed. He stuck me on an Italjet minibike when i was about 10 and i loved it so naturally i asked for a bike every xmas and birthday from then on but there was no way they could afford one. He also introduced me to sci fi authors and films through Star Wars when i was 10 and Asimov books. He never raised his hand to me ever and i cant even recall him raising his voice in anger to me. He can be very hard to read and talk to at times being so introverted but i hope he is proud of how i turned out with his help.

My mum always and still does (mostly) rule the house. She was the disciplinarian and not averse to the occasional smack across the leg when boundaries were crossed. Like my dad she worked her arse off with them sometimes doing opposite shifts so that my brother and i would have a parent about most of the time while bringing in enough money to keep a roof over our heads.

I got my work ethic from them both and think from what they showed me i was a decent parent to my kids (divorce aside) and now the grandkids. I have always owned my own home as they instilled it in me never to pay someone elses mortgage for them and they always moved home when there was a profit to be made so i went to a lot of different schools as a kid as we moved around.

I wish they would move down here so i could look after them more as they are now in their late 70's and they could enjoy their great grandchildren more but despite mum looking at rightmove constantly my dad wont leave. He cant/wont explain why so we are stuck with occasional trips north to visit and facetime.

Reading some of the other replies on here shows me what a good childhood i had looking back.

[Cousin Jack]

Dad started as a carpenter, and worked his way up to become Resident Engineer on a number of sizeable sewerage schemes, and then settled for a more stable job as a Building Inspector for a local authority. Mum spent an interesting war as an Armourer in the WRNS (where she ended up a Chief PO) and then was a stay at home Mum. Both of them impressed upon me the need to work hard, and in particular that if you try hard enough you can achieve most things. They had very little given to them, they had to work for it, and they instilled that into myself and my 2 brothers. They did a fairly good job of that, both myself and my two brothers have done quite well and are comfortable in old age. All 3 of us are also with our original partners and have been together for about 150+ years in total which probably says something or other about our role models.

We were fairly poor at first, I can remember at about 6 years old lusting after this incredibly ornate toy cowboy pistol in a local shop, complete with leather gunbelt and holster. It was more of a scale replica than a toy, but I wanted it for Xmas. No idea of the cost, but it would have been expensive. What I actually got was a very very basic die cast pistol and hand made holster made from cloth and I was a bit gutted at the time!

Dad was a motorcyclist, a bit of a tearaway in his time, but always impressed upon me that hitting stuff on a motorcycle is a VERY BAD idea. Mum was fearsome when roused, she ruled 3 teenage boys with no problems at all. She was also pretty capable in all sorts of unexpected way. When Trigonometry reared its ugly head she helped me out, and handed over an extremely useful slide rule that was the envy of many at school. It turns out that running a bombing range had quite a lot to do with Trig. She was also less than impressed with some headmasters, and was quite effective in sorting them out when they became tiresome.

Childhood was pretty good in retrospect. We had jobs to do, we were taught how to do stuff safely, and then trusted. We had bikes, we went off for miles. We disappeared into the countryside for hours, and emerged at mealtimes. We did stuff that today would be considered far too dangerous (using sharp tools, cycling on main trunk roads, crossing main railway lines on farm crossings) but we were shown how to stay safe, and then trusted to keep to the rules. We also did stuff we weren't supposed to do, but we did it fairly cautiously and never got hurt, or caught.

Overall I think they did a good job on parenting, and I hope I have done as well with my daughter,

[mangocrazy]

Reading through CJ's post, it brought home to me that my parents were, for the most part, 'hands off' parents. They gave us boundaries (which we treated as guidelines...) and gave us space and time and, by and large, trusted us to display common sense. My Dad's response when I asked him if I could buy my first motorbike (a basket case that needed a full engine rebuild) was; "you buy it, you fix it. I won't be helping you out or paying for the parts".

I attribute a lifetime of dicking about with bikes to that simple maxim that Dad laid down.

[Buckaroo]

This topic will take some deep thinking. I'll get back to you.

[Supermofo]

Reading some of the posts I feel pretty bloody lucky. Both my parents are amazing. Dad is still bloody working! He's a London black cab driver and started doing that the year before I was born, pre that he was a caretaker for the council. Mum was a stay at home mum for 80% of the time before I was 18, looking after me and my 2 brothers.

Both my folks have been really supportive and loving for me and my brothers and now our families. Me and my brothers are all a bit different but mum and dad always gave us what we needed. Growing up we didn't want for much as my dad worked his arse off, my older brother definitely has his work ethic. Apparently I'm more like my Grandad and more laid back, I work hard but not gonna work more than I have to except to help people out. Dad got all us 3 boys into bikes, he rode in the 60s before wife/kids got in the way, in the 80s he got back into it and that was that. My older brother doesn't ride any more but dad and younger brother and I are still doing trips together

I really hope, and I try, I am as good a parent as they were to me, to my kids. Don't get me wrong, we had the odd arguments and family ups and downs, but I always felt that whatever I wanted to do they would try and help. When I was a teenager my house was one of the cool places people hung out at cos my parents always welcomed people in and made friends with my friends.

So yeah my folks are bloody magic, cheers Mum and Dad

[Rockburner]

My first motorbike.

[gremlin]

My dad, showed me everything i don't want to be as a person.

Same.

As for my mum, I'm honestly not sure. I love her (she's still going, 82 and still fit and healthy, touch wood), but what she passed on to me in terms of wisdom, etc. I'm not sure. She had a tough upbringing and married my dad (drunk gambler, womaniser and wife-beater), then divorced him and married my stepdad (boring, domineering, socially inept tosser), so maybe the one thing I learned was to marry wisely.