Hmm... Friendship exam test?

[Dixiethedog]

I am going to the local pub for the weekly bike meet up. Everybody so far that I have met and chatted too seem to be (on the surface) pretty nice.

But, to work out who is friend material and worth hanging out with I am tempted to type out and then make them sit a "friendship" exam/test.

A few simple enough questions in order to determine their suitability as my companion and friend. A basic formality, nothing to arduous, it should be a fascinating couple of hours for them, and afterwards a general knowledge quiz session to ensure that they will be interesting conversationalists.

As an example, if I was too ask "What is the only capital city in Europe not situated on a waterway" and they answered "Madrid", that would constitute the chance of an interesting conversationalist.

If they pass my exam, I will reward them with a 12 month friendship contract. Obviously, at the end of the 12 months time period, they will have to re sit an exam. If they have turned out to be complete t*ts, then I will fail them.

If only life could be as simple as this.

[weeksy]

I am going to the local pub for the weekly bike meet up. Everybody so far that I have met and chatted too seem to be (on the surface) pretty nice.

But, to work out who is friend material and worth hanging out with I am tempted to type out and then make them sit a "friendship" exam/test.

A few simple enough questions in order to determine their suitability as my companion and friend. A basic formality, nothing to arduous, it should be a fascinating couple of hours for them, and afterwards a general knowledge quiz session to ensure that they will be interesting conversationalists.

As an example, if I was too ask "What is the only capital city in Europe not situated on a waterway" and they answered "Madrid", that would constitute the chance of an interesting conversationalist.

If they pass my exam, I will reward them with a 12 month friendship contract. Obviously, at the end of the 12 months time period, they will have to re sit an exam. If they have turned out to be complete t*ts, then I will fail them.

If only life could be as simple as this.

If you asked me to do that i'd stab you through the heart with a screwdriver and watch you bleed out on the floor.

Apart from that, it's a great idea.

[KungFooBob]

I hope you can provide the questions in multiple languages, offer versions for those with visual accessibility problems and provide extra time for people with learning difficulties.

Take plenty of pens too.

[Ian]

Cheltenham?

OK my test, have you got 4 legs, a wet nose and chase sticks ?
Nope? Sorry

[Noggin]

I'm worse than shit at quizzes - I'm not getting a friendship contract

[JackyJoll]

If only life could be as simple as this.

If only someone wanted to be your friend.

[Dixiethedog]

If only I had made my Mrs do a test when I met her.
Rather than just look at her other fab attributes.

When she is trying her best to do a crossword, three letters... "Feline character, C something T... "

Never mind. She makes me a nice cup of tea, twice a year. One cup on my birthday and another on Christmas day morning. It is just the other 363 days that are the problem.

I think that I need a tea lady, not a biker type of friend.

[Rockburner]

"What colour is the boathouse at Hereford?"

[MrLongbeard]

"What colour is the boathouse at Hereford?"

The doors were a dirty blue when I drove past it on Saturday

[Cousin Jack]

"What colour is the boathouse at Hereford?"

The doors were a dirty blue when I drove past it on Saturday

Ah, but what colour are they on the inside. Only a chosen few will know.

[MrLongbeard]

"What colour is the boathouse at Hereford?"

The doors were a dirty blue when I drove past it on Saturday

Ah, but what colour are they on the inside. Only a chosen few will know.

Same colour, they're roller doors, so the outside is the inside when rolled up

[Spitfire]

So does said prospective friend get to set you an exam too?

Asking for a friend

[Wossname]

I’m with Weeksy on this.

[Le_Fromage_Grande]

I’m with Weeksy on this.

So am I

[demographic]

Sophia and don't flatter yersell, I'm picky.

[Saga Lout]

I think it's a great idea. You should encourage all your acquaintances* to do it. It would let us normal** people know who to avoid.

* Acquaintances because I assume you don't have friends
** For a certain definition of "normal".

[Mr Moofo]

Erm, Edinburgh is strictly speak on a major water way …

[dern]

I am going to the local pub for the weekly bike meet up. Everybody so far that I have met and chatted too seem to be (on the surface) pretty nice.

But, to work out who is friend material and worth hanging out with I am tempted to type out and then make them sit a "friendship" exam/test.

A few simple enough questions in order to determine their suitability as my companion and friend. A basic formality, nothing to arduous, it should be a fascinating couple of hours for them, and afterwards a general knowledge quiz session to ensure that they will be interesting conversationalists.

As an example, if I was too ask "What is the only capital city in Europe not situated on a waterway" and they answered "Madrid", that would constitute the chance of an interesting conversationalist.

If they pass my exam, I will reward them with a 12 month friendship contract. Obviously, at the end of the 12 months time period, they will have to re sit an exam. If they have turned out to be complete t*ts, then I will fail them.

If only life could be as simple as this.

A 12 month contract seems both generous and foolhardy. I operate my friendships on a continuous assessment basis with a no notice opt out clause on both sides.

[Jody]

If only I had made my Mrs do a test when I met her.
Rather than just look at her other fab attributes.

When she is trying her best to do a crossword, three letters... "Feline character, C something T... "

Never mind. She makes me a nice cup of tea, twice a year. One cup on my birthday and another on Christmas day morning. It is just the other 363 days that are the problem.

I think that I need a tea lady, not a biker type of friend.

You misspelled (misspelt?) blowjob btw

[Dixiethedog]

The doors were a dirty blue when I drove past it on Saturday
[/quote]

This for some reason reminded me of a crap joke.

What is blue and smells like red paint?

Answer. Blue paint.


That is a crap joke.