What have you done today thread?

[ZRX61]

What does “back on solids” mean?

Refers to former-lesbians who are now taking dick.

[ZRX61]

Had an appointment with my Dr on Thursday at 10.10am... Got a call from his office today to tell me he wouldn't be in that day & need to reschedule.
"Can you come in at 8.45 on Friday instead?"
Got anything a bit later?
"How about 8.50?"

How about around 10am?
"Ok, hows Friday 11th at 11am?"
Close enough...

The pisser is this is just a fucking billing appointment to put $$ in his pocket. I was at City of Hope last week for a cancer deal, The nurse pointed at something on my forehead & said "You need to get that looked at"
The "something" in question is something that I've asked my Dr about & asked for a dermatology referral three times over the past year or so & the fucker has brushed it off each time.
Now I have a nurse at the oncology hospital say "You need to get that looked at" & he finally decided that he needs to take a look before making the referral. He NEVER asks to see me when I ask for an Ortho referral, he just does it.
So now I get to spend EXACTLY an hour visiting my Dr, during which I will sit reading a book in the exam room for 59 minutes & actually see my Dr for around 45 seconds (based on timing previous visits)

After the nurse pointed at the *something* she asked what I did for a living & when I was "last screened for skin cancer?" The answer of "aircraft mechanic, never been screened" elicited a "WHAT?? why not? You need to get screened as soon as possible" as she's looking at my hands/arms, followed by "how the hell did you get all these scars?"

[weeksy]

I went out with my lad one time only, having to grab the wheel, bloody frightening. Got him booked in with someone proper. You've been warned.

He has that at 4.30 in afternoon. We've been doing clutch control 3 (sorta ) point turns outside the house and getting used to pulling away.

I'll wager that he'll nail it instantly. He knows reaction and control through his down hill stuff, this will be mere bagatelle!

TBH it went well. We started at the local science park, pretty decent size with roundabouts, junctions etc. After that it was time to go home and he was happy to take the proper roads with proper cars. His only issue was 1 stalling on a set of temp lights, but he didn't panic and got it sorted. His lane discipline wasn't perfect, but they're narrow roads round here once we get off the main bits so can be pretty tight. He got over 40mph and into 4th gear. Came back and parked up outside the house.
We've been getting proper frowns from Mrs Weeksy as we were not supposed to do 'roads' lol... but we're boys, it's what we do.

[gremlin]

Under duress I erected the Bestway pool yesterday evening in the oppressive heat of this heatwave.
Woke this morning to the sound of lashing rain.

[Rockburner]

Why are you asking God to listen to your pleas if your don't believe in Him?

It's just a figure of speech. Rolls off the tongue a bit better than 'Please random event distributor'.

Oh,I don't know. 'random event distributor' has something of a ring to it.

Shortens to R.E.D. quite nicely too.

Personally i seem to favour the great deity F###

[Dodgy69]

Me being a wise man and all that, thought I'd get a nice gift for the neighbours. Straight out of New Delhi.

[Taipan]

I went for a walk at lunchtime and whilst walking i got a stabbing pain in the sole of my left foot. I bravely carried on and when I returned to my office I found this pin had pierced through the sole of my Toms! Is it a sign from God?! My mum always said I was prophetic, at least I think that’s what she said…

[Dodgy69]

I went for a walk at lunchtime and whilst walking i got a stabbing pain in the sole of my left foot. I bravely carried on and when I returned to my office I found this pin had pierced through the sole of my Toms! Is it a sign from God?! My mum always said I was prophetic, at least I think that’s what she said…

You've probably been cursed by a demon. They generally last about 100 years, you'll be alright after that.

[KungFooBob]

Me being a wise man and all that, thought I'd get a nice gift for the neighbours. Straight out of New Delhi.

Loud pipes save lives?

[Yorick]

Swam 800m. Not bad considering I was rushed to hospital in December as couldn't move arms and legs and in screaming pain after 6 week illness.

Chuffed to bits

Getting fit for Portimao

[Scotsrich]

Took the R for its service today. £202 which is worth it for the warranty and goodwill alone.

Whilst there I wandered round the showroom and asked if they had any 1300R’s in yet. Yes was the answer but the public weren’t allowed to see it till the official launch on Saturday.

But as the salesman’s a mate I got a look anyway. It’s nice but (and it’s a big but) for some reason, probably aesthetics they’ve cut down the pillion seat. So that’s simply off my list if I was looking. Give me a decent pillion seat and I might have considered it.

[Taipan]

Woke up this morning to a living room full of dog puke and shite! Thanked our lucky stars we no longer have carpet and one mop and bleach session later all is well.

The culprit was the financial liability I bought my wife as a much wanted, nay, instructed, Xmas pressie, namely the french bulldog. Having owned Jack Russells for the last 30+ years, I'm not used to them going wrong as they are like the Honda of the dog world. But these Frenchies are like a , well, KTM!

Anyway,, said Frenchie seemed okay-ish when we left for work and we thought she was over it. Sadly my wife came home to find shit and puke everywhere and of the blood containing type too and teh poor little dog looking decidely second hand. My wife loves this dog like a new born and well, tbh, so do I! So off to the emergency vet the dog goes. £150 later we have some tablets and the dog has had an anti sick injection. Next step is as follows. Anyone want to buy an Africa Twin?

[Felix]

Includes VAT. Whew Our vet would have added the £56 consultation fee.

[gremlin]

After all that, do they know what's wrong with the mutt? I suspect what the vet wouldn't refer to as 'a case of the galloping shits'.

(I've had a quiet word with Syd's and let her know that £500 is my limit re vet bills and after that she's a black and white rug)

[gremlin]

I had a sticky 5 key on my keyboard so did the 'turn it upside down and whack it' fix.

The decades-old equivalent of roughly four sandwiches and 12 biscuits in crumb form promptly fell out.

A good clean and spray with silicon and it's good as new and fresh as a daisy.

[Taipan]

After all that, do they know what's wrong with the mutt? I suspect what the vet wouldn't refer to as 'a case of the galloping shits'.

(I've had a quiet word with Syd's and let her know that £500 is my limit re vet bills and after that she's a black and white rug)

The concern is she's eaten something she cant digest. If they have to operate, that bill is going to be small beer compared to surgery costs?


Anyone want to buy a Tesla?

[gremlin]

After all that, do they know what's wrong with the mutt? I suspect what the vet wouldn't refer to as 'a case of the galloping shits'.

(I've had a quiet word with Syd's and let her know that £500 is my limit re vet bills and after that she's a black and white rug)

The concern is she's eaten something she cant digest. If they have to operate, that bill is going to be small beer compared to surgery costs?


Anyone want to buy a Tesla?

My mate has a big, fat Labrador called Basil. Eating things it shouldn't* seem to be Basil's raison d'être in doggie life.

*Whole truckle of stilton one Christmas. A leg of lamb that was foolishly left to rest in the kitchen whilst the table was laid. A whole string of J-cloths, which my mate had to stand on whilst Basil shat and shuffled forward uncomfortably, whilst a small crowd gather to watch in wonder.

[Pirahna]

Anyone want to buy a Tesla?

There's another, cheaper option.

[Taipan]

Anyone want to buy a Tesla?

There's another, cheaper option.

Not according to Mrs Taipan! My car will go, my bike will go and even I will go before her dog does!

[David]

I love (most of) our cats....but any serious malady and they go down the loo.....oh...hang on, that's gold fish.



My argument is that the animal does not know whats happening and can't understand the procedures/recovery etc., so better for all (except the vet) in every way....