Jokes Thread

[ZRX61]

A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party.
She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.
He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going.
So he took his costume and away he went.
The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain, and as it was still early, she decided to go to the party.
And as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.
His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived.
She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband.
Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little bang.
Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.
She was sitting up reading when he came in and said what kind of a time he'd had.
He said, "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."
Then she asked, "Did you dance much?"
He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But I'll tell you... the guy I loaned my costume to sure had a real good time!"

[Taipan]

I heard that by law you have to turn your lights on when its raining in Sweden. But how am I supposed to know when its raining in Sweden?

[Taipan]

[Taipan]

[Yorick]

Screenshot_20251105_111140_Facebook.jpg (1.5 MiB) Viewed 1000 times

[gremlin]

That is complete nonsense. You'd be better getting the Pinkersmith line to Finger n Thumb and changing to the Loopy Liz to jump off at Noncy Norm.

HTH.

[JackyJoll]

Mornington Crescent!

[McNab]

Stolen from another forum

a5dkc0vkaef6.jpg (74.75 KiB) Viewed 982 times

[Yorick]

Stolen from another forum

a5dkc0vkaef6.jpg

?????

[McNab]

Stolen from another forum

a5dkc0vkaef6.jpg

?????

It's a take on this year's John Lewis christmas ad

[Yorick]

Stolen from another forum

a5dkc0vkaef6.jpg

?????

It's a take on this year's John Lewis christmas ad

That's something I won't see.

[Taipan]

?????

It's a take on this year's John Lewis christmas ad

That's something I won't see.

[gremlin]

It's a take on this year's John Lewis christmas ad

That's something I won't see.

John Lewis Christmas ads still as fucking nauseating as ever, I see.


Tell ya what though, that kid has had his fucking wear out of that jumper.

[Taipan]

As an account holder/member I got an exclusive viewing!

Hello Taipan,

Our Christmas ad is here.


This year, we're putting heart and soul into Christmas with Where Love Lives: a celebration of music and connection, and a tribute to the meaning of gifts when words fail us. Because, sometimes, a gift can say the things we can't.

As a member, you can watch the ad before anyone else. Just head to the app and make sure you're logged into your My John Lewis account.

[gremlin]

As an account holder/member I got an exclusive viewing!

You got first dobs on vomiting

[JackyJoll]

[Taipan]

Sports bike riders heading out...

[JackyJoll]

[Docca]

[Taipan]