In todays light hearted look at the (non-political) news

[MrLongbeard]

Also, never give your child a name they will struggle to spell.

And that's aside from the issue of phonetic Irish names ...

Also avoid hyphens, apostrophes, umlauts etc etc, even in the 21st century 99% of computer systems can't cope with them

[gremlin]

One of our front of house staff was called Muhamed and so were both his brothers!

Could have been worse. Might have been called Dave...

Did I ever tell you that Mrs. McCave
Had twenty-three sons and she named them all Dave?
Well, she did. And that wasn't a smart thing to do.
You see, when she wants one and calls out, "Yoo-Hoo!
Come into the house, Dave!" she doesn't get one.
All twenty-three Daves of hers come on the run!
This makes things quite difficult at the McCaves'
As you can imagine, with so many Daves.
And often she wishes that, when they were born,
She had named one of them Bodkin Van Horn
And one of them Hoos-Foos. And one of them Snimm.
And one of them Hot-Shot. And one Sunny Jim.
And one of them Shadrack. And one of them Blinkey.
And one of them Stuffy. And one of them Stinkey.
Another one Putt-Putt. Another one Moon Face.
Another one Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face.
And one of them Ziggy. And one Soggy Muff.
One Buffalo Bill. And one Biffalo Buff.
And one of them Sneepy. And one Weepy Weed.
And one Paris Garters. And one Harris Tweed.
And one of them Sir Michael Carmichael Zutt
And one of them Oliver Boliver Butt
And one of them Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate ...
But she didn't do it. And now it's too late.

By Dr. Seuss, who by coincidence, was actually named Theodore.

[Count Steer]

Soooo....if you could have chosen your own name, what would you pick?

I quite like the idea of being Ghengis (or Atilla).

Never heard of another one of these so that'd be quite cool (once you'd left school ).

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cloudesle ... prov=sfla1

[Saga Lout]

If my grandfather, Peter, had followed family tradition my father would have been called Peter and I would have been called Peter. But grandad didn’t like being called Peter so my father was called John and my sister and I were named after the two saints whose statues adorned the local church. Luckily, the statues were one male and one female so that worked out. I'm quite happy with my name, I'm used to it now.
Then my brother was born on 29th June so obviously he had to be called Peter.

[Count Steer]

...and if my father hadn't been (vigorously and brooking no argument) dissuaded by my mother, I would have been....Albert.

Bless you Mum.

[Count Steer]

Reading, as you do, the August issue of 'Shipping' (incorporating 'Sea Breezes' I read of an article from the Daily Telelaugh about a proposed £22bn, 1 mile long ship that will hold 80,000 people.

'Sounds familiar' thinks I and, yup, it's the same one proposed in 1990 - a floating, tax avoiding, self-governing, city. The 'Freedom Ship'.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freedom_Ship?wprov=sfla1

Predictions:

1. They'll attract some investment
2. It'll never get built
3. Investors will never see their money again.

A 150,000 tonne cruise ship is equivalent to the tonnage of a fleet of warships. Erm, which shipyard has the construction capacity???

[Noggin]

Most popular baby names for boys and girls in 2025 revealed

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cevlw4wnlmxo


I have a theory that when naming a boy, one should picture the scene 20 years hence, when your strapping son enters a crowded pub and his mates in the far corner shout his name...

'THEODOR!!...Over here. Watcha 'aving?'.

I'm often impressed at the names some parents choose!! Over here I know a family (not french but the kids were born here) with an Odin, a Phoenix and a Persephone TBF, I kinda get the first two, but the poor girl is gonna be called Percy for ever

Soooo....if you could have chosen your own name, what would you pick?

I quite like the idea of being Ghengis (or Atilla).

Never heard of another one of these so that'd be quite cool (once you'd left school ).

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cloudesle ... prov=sfla1

I did choose my own name !! Only because my parents chose a name for me to be christened with, then the family and of course the rest of the people I came into contact with used the shortest form of it. Despite me saying I disliked said shortest form (I can remember being in preschool and correcting a 'teacher' saying I didn't like *** and my name was ******, which was a longer short form of the full name)

After a lifetime of being called a short name I hated, I found a nickname that I liked and ended up changing it legally!

If you christen a child a name and don't use it, at least listen to said child when it says "I don't like that short form, please don't use it" - especially if they have said that for 40+ years

[gremlin]

I was very nearly an 'Ian'.

Ian, for fuck's sake! That's only one up from Nigel.

[Yorick]

99% of folk call me Yorick.

If it wasn't for my FB profile, they wouldn't know different.
Many folk have admitted they thought it was my real name coz the whole island calls me it.
Was same in UK, but slightly less.

P.S. I have 4 good pals whose real name is Ian, but all have nicknames which have become 'real' since we were kids.
Bob, Willy, Bruce and Cat.

[Yorick]

I was very nearly an 'Ian'.

Ian, for fuck's sake! That's only one up from Nigel.

So you're happy as Tarquin ?

[Yorick]

I was very nearly an 'Ian'.

Ian, for fuck's sake! That's only one up from Nigel.

So you're happy as Tarquin ?

TBH I was surprised by your hyphenated middle name.

I-take-it-up-the-shitter.

[ZRX61]

If you christen a child a name and don't use it, at least listen to said child when it says "I don't like that short form, please don't use it" - especially if they have said that for 40+ years

I talked with actor Robert Carradine at the RockStore quite a bit, one day I called him Rob & he corrected me by merely saying "Robert".

[gremlin]

I was very nearly an 'Ian'.

Ian, for fuck's sake! That's only one up from Nigel.

So you're happy as Tarquin ?

TBH I was surprised by your hyphenated middle name.

I-take-it-up-the-shitter.

I-take-it-HARD-up-shitter, if you don't mind.

[Noggin]

If you christen a child a name and don't use it, at least listen to said child when it says "I don't like that short form, please don't use it" - especially if they have said that for 40+ years

I talked with actor Robert Carradine at the RockStore quite a bit, one day I called him Rob & he corrected me by merely saying "Robert".

Good that it worked for him!!

After 40+ years of correcting people for them to ignore me, I changed my name!!

[gremlin]

I was very nearly an 'Ian'.

Ian, for fuck's sake! That's only one up from Nigel.

So you're happy as Tarquin ?

Sourh London, innit.

Gets shortened to 'Tarkers, you slaaaag'

[Count Steer]

If you christen a child a name and don't use it, at least listen to said child when it says "I don't like that short form, please don't use it" - especially if they have said that for 40+ years

I talked with actor Robert Carradine at the RockStore quite a bit, one day I called him Rob & he corrected me by merely saying "Robert".

Did you ask him what 'Dave' was doing when he died?

Dave Carradine? Nope, it's just wrong, as is Rob or Bob Carradine.

[ZRX61]

Did you ask him what 'Dave' was doing when he died?

Dave Carradine? Nope, it's just wrong, as is Rob or Bob Carradine.

I did not, not once.

[Mussels]

Also, never give your child a name they will struggle to spell.

And that's aside from the issue of phonetic Irish names ...

Also avoid hyphens, apostrophes, umlauts etc etc, even in the 21st century 99% of computer systems can't cope with them

Very much so, as I found out when Barclays shut my business bank account with no notice because one name didn't exactly match what companies house had.

[Yorick]

Also, never give your child a name they will struggle to spell.

And that's aside from the issue of phonetic Irish names ...

Also avoid hyphens, apostrophes, umlauts etc etc, even in the 21st century 99% of computer systems can't cope with them

Proper software can

[Horse]

Also, never give your child a name they will struggle to spell.

And that's aside from the issue of phonetic Irish names ...

Also avoid hyphens, apostrophes, umlauts etc etc, even in the 21st century 99% of computer systems can't cope with them

Proper software can

Perhaps it can. Unfortunately, in the real World, lots of companies use shonky software that can't.

Filly has a hyphenated surname. Often, it's not accepted, or the hyphen is deleted.