Jokes Thread

[Saga Lout]

So Brits can make car companies successful, I never knew.

Depends what you mean by successful. Morgan probably fits the bill.

[Taipan]

Arf!

(Strictly speaking Musk wasn't a 'founder' I think. Company incorporated in 03 by Eberhardt and Tarpenning. Musk on board in 04 ).

And, similarly strictly speaking, modern VW was created by the British army.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ivan_Hirst

Are you two telling me there wasn't really an Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman that walked into a pub?

[Mr. Dazzle]

Henry Ford was a massive anti-semite too. He'd have a conspiracy theory podcast if he was alive today, but he had to settle for buying a newspaper to publish his ideas.

That's the trouble with modern society, any silly sod can spread hated whereas back in the day you had to be an industrial magnate to do it

[Count Steer]

So Brits can make car companies successful, I never knew.

Depends what you mean by successful. Morgan probably fits the bill.

One of the reasons they're still here is because they completely ignored John Harvey-Jones advice.

The dickhead told them they needed to bring in outside investment, crank out a lot more cars and expand a lot.

Wrong on every count.

[weeksy]

I'm not finding all of these funny.

[Taipan]

Two guys were roaring down the road on a motorcycle when the driver slowed up and pulled over. His leather jacket had a broken zipper, and he told his friend, "I can't drive anymore with the air hitting me in the chest like that." "Just put the jacket on backwards." His friend advised. They continued down the road but around the next bend, they lost control and wiped out. A nearby farmer came upon the accident and ran to call the police. They asked him, "Are they showing any signs of life?" "Well," the farmer explained, "the driver was until I turned his head around the right way!"

[Mr. Dazzle]

I'm not finding all of these funny.

Normally humour is in the delivery, but since this is all in writing you must be reading 'em wrong.

[Yorick]

FB_IMG_1748954351125.jpg (61.9 KiB) Viewed 405 times

[petrolpete]

With all' these rappers going to jail they should try to monetise it and do a jailhouse rap.

[Lutin]

So Brits can make car companies successful, I never knew.

Depends what you mean by successful. Morgan probably fits the bill.

One of the reasons they're still here is because they completely ignored John Harvey-Jones advice.

The dickhead told them they needed to bring in outside investment, crank out a lot more cars and expand a lot.

Wrong on every count.

And since 2019 Morgan has had Italian owners - Morgan Motor Company sold: One of last British carmakers bought by Italian firm

There are no British motor manufacturers anymore.

[Count Steer]

Depends what you mean by successful. Morgan probably fits the bill.

One of the reasons they're still here is because they completely ignored John Harvey-Jones advice.

The dickhead told them they needed to bring in outside investment, crank out a lot more cars and expand a lot.

Wrong on every count.

And since 2019 Morgan has had Italian owners - Morgan Motor Company sold: One of last British carmakers bought by Italian firm

There are no British motor manufacturers anymore.

As this is the jokes thread....

...we still have the Ariel Atom.

[Mr. Dazzle]

There are no British motor manufacturers anymore.

There's that well known manufacturer of every day cars we all can afford, GMA.

https://www.gordonmurrayautomotive.com/

[derek badger]

There are no British motor manufacturers anymore.

There's that well known manufacturer of every day cars we all can afford, GMA.

https://www.gordonmurrayautomotive.com/

Worked in the same business park as that place for 10 years and used to see their guys in the pub on a Friday lunchtime. He took over the lease on our building when we moved out in 2019.

[Mr. Dazzle]

I designed the carbon fan in the back, but I never get any credit/free stuff for it.

[Taipan]

[Horse]

Essex ambulance crew arrived at nasty car crash, driver still trapped. Paramedic asks "What's your name?"

'Tracy'

He can see blood on the car floor. "Tracy, where are you bleeding from?"

'Bleedin Sarfend!'

[Taipan]

[ZRX61]

[cheb]

Patient: What's wrong with me?
Doctor: I don't know.
Patient: When will you know?
Doctor: Tomorrow, after the post mortem.

[Taipan]

I think its disgusting that even after 50 years people don't know who Neil Armstrong is, or what kind of trumpet he played!